Click...click, click...BOOM! Doritos Roulette!!

Years ago, when I was just a lowly college student at the age of 26 (and before Faturated Sats was in existence), Doritos released 3 flavors of spicy tortilla chips: "1st Degree burn Blazin' Jalapeno", "2nd Degree burn Fiery Buffalo", and "3rd degree burn Scorchin' Habanero".  (These would eventually evolve into "Jacked" or "Dinimita" flavor profiles now released in various "styles" of Doritos (which may or may not be considered actual "Doritos". I don't care what Stu Lumdsen says. Apparently, the flavor was too much for a normal sized Doritos chip, but I digress...)

When The Fat found these intriguing flavors back in the day, the FIRST thing he did was buy 'em and try 'em, of course.  In my case my readership was unaware, there are 2 primary mottos that Fat Mike lives by:  a) Why heat it, when you can eat it? and  b)(when you see a new bag of chips on the shelf) buy 'em, and try 'em.
For the sake of time, and to stay focused on currently available snack food I won't provide an impromptu review of the "original burns" for the masses.  Nevertheless, what The Fat did was take all 3 bags and mix them in a big bowl.  "Why" you ask? Because there was a certain thrill associated with sitting in front of a punch bowl of Doritos and never knowing what you were gonna grab when you dipped your hand in there for some crunchy goodness.  It was a GREAT experience and I've always pitied those around me who never had the opportunity to share in that tasty game of chance. Well, those moments of pity are sorta, kinda over:

Doritos Roulette!!!

The Fat was SO pumped when he saw these on the shelves. It was as if my own idea had manifested itself magically in front of me.  I was immediately drawn in by the description on the back of the bag (as if I needed to be "sold" on the idea) and busted it open to see what it was all about.  I was happily surprised, and impressed.  What intrigued me the most was the fact that the Doritos all LOOKED the same.  My apologies for not having shots of the chips, but you'll have to go buy 'em to see for yourself.

I thought that it would be easy to open the bag and see which were the "spicys" and which were the "niceys", but it wasn't.  By simply looking before you leap, you are spared nothing.  You reach in, and you take a chance... as promised.  That's what the Fat loves about innovative snacking.  Perhaps you can't eat a whole bag in one sitting, but you can appreciate the innovation.  I'll tell you all, that I opened this bag during a meeting a work and there were a lot of takers who all reacted similarly to myself.  People couldn't tell the difference, and it was almost smarter to continue when you got a hot one to get the relief of some refreshing nacho cheese, then it was to quit eating them.  Brilliant.

Yet again, I have a new-refound inspiration to "touch my Tos" on a regular basis.  These things don't quit, and I wholeheartedly support the Doritos Roulette wheel to keep on spinning as long as possible.  I'll be on Doritos red every time.  Nice job, boys.

Faturated Sats goes International with its FIRST featured guest post! Not to be missed!!

It's happened, folks.  We've got our FIRST Faturated Sats INTERNATIONAL food report!!

Greetings from:

Thanks to the diligent effort of an avid FS reader and "fan" named Myles Dickason, we've been provided with some info about delicious treats found only OUTSIDE the continental U.S.  For all the "frequent readers" out there (hahahahahahaha!), you're already aware of my frustration regarding the vast amount of adventurous foods that are (for some reason) unavailable for consumption here in the United States. I'm not going to get on a soap box about how unfair it is that government regulations need to be in place simply to protect people from themselves, but it's worth noting that for all the freedoms that we have it certainly appears that other countries may have a little bit more when it comes to their allowable creativity with their food (fast or otherwise).

Thankfully, there are people who are willing to volunteer their time and taste buds to us so that we can benefit from their experiences and learn more about what's out there in the world.  Moreover, should you find yourself within the borders of a country like El Salvador, you'll know what to run towards, and what to run away from.  Thanks, Myles Dickason, for contributing to this latest edition of Faturated Sats.  Your contribution is appreciated by us all (the small rabble of folks who are interested in this nonsense).

Editors note:  while you will find a spattering of commentary from me through the post, the following text has been provided directly by the guest contributor.  

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Fat Mike. Should the analysis of Fat Mike be deemed a necessity by the viewership, contributions can be made through Venmo or Pay Pal to send Fat Mike directly to the locations sited below. Assumptions made within the analysis are not reflective of the position of any Faturated Sats entity or party. ENJOY.

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El Salvador Faturated Sats.

Taste scale:

0 = I’d rather eat dry cat food.

5 = a decent banana
10 = better than pretty good sex

"Mister Donut"

#1 Mister Donut. “Sandwich Campesino” (Editor's Note: In Spanish, "campesino" means "a peasant farmer".  Loose translation = "Farmer's Sandwich".

Notes: Five customers waiting at counter, five employees behind the counter. Took thirteen minutes to take my order the first time.  Five minutes later same employee asked me what I would like to order. Two minutes later a second employee asked me what I would like to order.  “Parenthood” with Diane Keaton and Steve Martin playing on mute on restaurant television; scene where Juliette Lewis is on golf course in sprinklers in wedding dress. (Editor's Note: Steve Martin starred in Parenthood with Mary Steenburgen in 1989.  The movie being referred to is Father of the Bride which did NOT star Juliette Lewis. Please excuse Myles' lack of movie knowledge as it is not relevant to the food.)

Total door-to-food time: 23 minutes.

Sandwich: ham, cheese, 2 eggs grilled on thick toast. Taste: mostly butter, a hint of chemicals. Top piece of bread golden brown, not grilled on both sides so bottom piece was soggy white bread. I burped while eating sandwich and tasted orange juice, but I hadn’t had any orange juice that morning. Took three bites. Coffee was decent, not good or bad. I wanted to steal the coffee cup, but didn’t want to get arrested in El Salvador.

Price: $2.75

Final score: 4 = Soggy biscuit from fridge from yesterday’s biscuit and gravy doggy bag that you thought it would be a good idea to keep.

#2 Burger King. “Nacho Whopper”

Notes: Very excited about this one. Signs everywhere throughout El Salvador. Not available in the US. Some questions on my mind in preparation for this sandwich: “Will the nachos be crunchy or soggy? Is the green and red stuff in the advertising photos jalapenos and hot sauce? or ketchup and unknown green sauce? Why didn’t Burger King collaborate with Doritos for this burger?

Sandwich: Standard BK Whopper with jalapenos, BBQ sauce, and nachos. Also lettuce, tomato, onion. Nachos have green and red flecks on them—I think they’re the BBQ flavored nachos.  Flavors emerged in sequence: Jalapenos were first and primary flavor, followed by the BBQ taste. Hard to tell if BBQ flavor is from sauce or flavor flecks on nachos. Finally, taste of thick cardboard, but when you learned about recycling in science class and made “paper” out of soggy egg cartons. This is the third and final taste that anchors the taste profile and overall experience. 

Unshakeable flavor, in spite of mouth washing with orange soda. I felt strongly that I needed to stop eating this sandwich early, but felt compelled to continue; I stopped after ¾ of the burger was gone. 

Drink: orange soda, pretty standard. Fries: I ate two fries to complete the experience. Undercooked, not crisp / too soggy. Under salted. Weak finish to meal. Door to food time: 8 minutes.

Price: $6.29

Overall score: 6 = Summer barbeque overcooked brat with store brand yellow mustard.

(Editor's Note: A 6 isn't a bad overall score, but CHECK OUT THE PLAYPLACE! That would bump it up a notch for some)

#3 Los Pinguinos 

(Editor's Note - Translated, Los Pinguinos means "The Penguins" and I can't put together what these cupcakes have to do with Penguins at ALL. Please feel free to comment if readers have thoughts or theories)

Notes: These things look like Hostess cupcakes. I think they’ll taste the same too. I noted that there are 304 calories per package / two cupcakes. That’s more than two 12oz cans of Coke, which is impressive. They’re made in Guatemala.

Cupcake: Chocolate flavor is “dry” not “rich.” Tastes more like eating the powder coating on Count ChocoPuffs than a Hershey bar. (Editor's Note: There never has existed, nor shall there ever be a cereal named "Count ChocoPuffs" Although, I can only imagine what a union between Sonny the Cuckoo and Count Chocula would be like.  You're welcome, Internet. Get crackin' on that web series).
Cream-to-cake ratio is adequate; cream consistency is too liquid, not fluffy. “Icing” on top is a waste of high-fructose corn syrup, considering they also use it to make chocolate flavored edible panties. With the caloric content to power a 220 pound man to run 2 miles you’d think these things would taste better than licking the inside lid on a can of Quik chocolate milk powder. (Editor's Note: Nestle Quik powderhas been known as Nesquick since 1999 for those who are not familiar with the previous brand identity)  I felt a little sad after eating these, kinda like when I found out that Bruno Mars’ real name is Peter Gene Hernandez.

Price $0.75

Final Score: 3 = mealy apple; if I was stoned, would prolly get a 6 = sorta warm spaghetti that needs more sauce.

#4 Pupusas

 Notes: These things are the national dish of El Salvador. You can get them in really nice restaurants, but the best place to get them is from the street vendors. I got these from a restaurant in the airport. For some reason, these are typically breakfast or dinner foods, but are never eaten for lunch. I ordered them for lunch with a bottle of the national beer: “Pilsner.” While waiting for my food and watching the guy driving the fuel truck light a cigarette I thought that it’s pretty hard to screw up carbs, meat, and cheese, and indeed, every country has it’s version of the same thing. Mexico has the enchilada, Venezuela has the arepa, and here in the States we have Disco Fries with sausage gravy. Door to beer time: less than two minutes—excellent. Door to food time: fifteen minutes.

Pupusa: Cheesy goodness inside. Corn pancakes are heated on griddle with perfect tinge of burnt carbon edge with cooked and moist inside. Pickled vegetables are excellent but lack spicy heat. The only hot sauce in the restaurant is some mass produced vinegar trash. Pilsner is the perfect beer if you don’t want to taste your beer. It wasn’t watery, or delicious, or sour, or hoppy. I didn’t notice that I was drinking it.

Price: (including bottle of beer) $10.73 (or $1.25 for the same thing on the street going to the airport, but without the beer).

Final Score: 8 = Finding $15-20 bucks in the laundry.

**Special Thanks to RMD for this contribution.  You're a good man, and thorough.

Bonus:

These are some initial notes sent as "preliminary findings" before the official write up.  I thought it would be a nice piece of "bonus material" for those who got all the way to the end.  If you can read this, then you truly are gifted.

More Reasons to Ring the Bell - Pt. 2

And so, I bring you part two...

If you're a regular reader (Hahahahahahahahahaha!), then you already knew about the Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights donut that is served as a part of the glorious Taco Bell breakfast.  

Well, as of July 2nd every TB location started serving these delightful, little creations.  Initially, it was my impression that these were going to be served as an alternative to the aforementioned Cinnabon versions and only be available during breakfast hours.  To my elation, as my Father In Law and I walked into "The Bell" after 4th of July weekend we found out that these delights were on the menu ALL DAY!

After downing a considerable meal consisting of the Grilled Stuft Nacho, Bacon Club Chalupa, Doritos Los Tacos, and a Burrito Supreme, I opted to dive into this bag of happiness to see just what all the fuss (in my own mind) was about.

This was an exceptional experience that I never expected.  Apparently, when Taco Bell says, "made from Cap'n Crunch's Cereal" they are NOT kidding.  What I expected was to have a traditional donut, rolled in crushed Cap'n Crunch, with a vanilla frosting (of sorts) on the inside.  Instead, what I got was dough that smelled of the familiar Crunch Berries that the Cap'n is so fond of, and a taste which verified that every INCH of the donut is created from the very fabric of the cereal that I know and hold so dear.  The donut has a saturating richness and an overwhelming cereal flavor that even surprised the Fat.  It was a happy surprise, mind you, but a surprise nonetheless.  Here's what was the most astonishing part of the whole experience:  There was no "milky" center with frosting in the middle.  It was so STRANGE!

It's almost like the formula concocted by "The Bell" had inadvertently absorbed the creamy frosting center.  As you bite into it, it feels soft and moist (that's what she said.. wha?), but the frosting is just NOT there. This was amazing. The sweetness; the "ghost" of the frosting was there, but no evidence of its actual presence whatsoever.

 This is either a feat of amazing ingenuity, or a flaw in the execution because EVEN for Fat Mike this was (to use a term that I've learned from Chef Geoffrey Zakarian from watching "Chopped) cloyingly sweet.  The Cap'n Crunch delights are offered in 2, 4, and 12 packs but unless I was on some kind of determined bender (which I've consciously achieved in the past) I couldn't IMAGINE eating more than 4 of these.  I very much recommend trying the 4 pack to enjoy the rich, rich, rich, richness of the Cap'n Crunch Delights, but it's a little too much for an indulgence further than that.  I'm all about enjoying things that are delicious, but this is like nothing I've seen before.  Even the remnants left behind on the fingers are substantial.  And this is in addition to the sweetness of the donut itself, which as it turns out can be slightly overwhelming.

C'mon... I'm not a softy when it comes to new, elaborate creations.  I'm all for trying this. It's an experience that you'll never replicate.  However, this is some CRAZY sh*t.   Like nothing ever tasted before. My Father-in-Law said it was the most disgusting thing he'd ever tasted (and he enjoyed the overall "Bell" experience), but I'm torn because I appreciate having this out there, but I fear for the people that get 12-packs and call that a "normal" situation.

If you don't have a loyalty to the Cap'n, or a desire to simply try something new, then wait.  Not a life changer, but a worthwhile experience FOR SURE.  I see the ingenuity, I appreciate the change of pace, but I can't imagine there's circumstance (outside of the random nostalgia that I'll crave after this post) where I'd seek out these delights on my way to The Bell.  These may run the risk of being too exclusive to a certain group to be profitable, but I'll EAT MY WORDS if I have to (cause they'd be delicious).... pun.

Enjoy.  Talk to you soon!

More Reasons to Ring the Bell - Pt.1

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you Taco Bell's limited edition:

After the 4th of July, I had the pleasure of sharing a Taco Bell experience with my Father In Law, who had NEVER rang the bell before!! Can you believe it?  I was so proud and excited to share his first experience and serve as a guide to the deliciousness that is the TB.

However, the MOMENT that we walked in I realized that there was potential for me to "bite off more than I could chew" (no pun intended... well, sort of I guess).  My excitement level skyrocketed when I remembered that there were some new menu items that I was going to be able to experience for the first time.  There were 2 prominent standouts that I wanted to share with you all, and that's why were rocking this Taco Bell visit as part of a 2 part series.

First came the limited edition Grilled Stuft Nacho.

You've probably seen the "Sharing Sucks" campaign that they rolled out for this.  Fat Mike has always believed that Taco Bell is as smart with their advertising as they are with their food creations. I was so pumped to try this because it touted all of the key elements that make for a GREAT Taco Bell creation: Seasoned beef, deliciously warm nacho cheese sauce, crunchy red tortilla strips, and a cool sour cream to finish.  The addition of the tortilla strips is crucial because it gives the whole thing a gloriously subtle crunch despite the very "Quesadilla-like" feel to the whole creation. 

Each bite was pleasantly refreshing.  It was well put together and held tight through the entire eat.  It wasn't one of those "explosive" things that require you to keep eating just so you don't dump the whole thing all over the place.  I really liked the beef, but it also comes in chicken and I'd be tempted to try that the next time around.  I will say, that the ground beef mixed really nicely with the other ingredients, and I worry that the chicken wouldn't absorb the surrounding elements as equally. Further investigation will need to be done.

Here's the hard truth:  Is it delicious? Yes.  Is it FANTASTICALLY convenient? YES!  Does it replicate the nacho eating experience in a compact and portable form as they tout in their ads? No.
As you can imagine, I'm a bit of a nacho enthusiast.  I don't say that to imply that I am the ultimate judge good nachos from bad, but rather to emphasize that I'm open to enjoying different nacho executions in different forms.  I like a pile of homemade tortilla chips with everything piled on top.  I like the "pub nacho" with round tortilla chips and artificial cheese sauce substitute rather than the fresh grated stuff.  I even like the new "gourmet" nacho where each chip is delicately laid on the plate and topped with well crafted, individual ingredients like refried beans and a fresh jalapeno.  This, however, is more of a "stripped down" nacho that just takes the key elements of making a plate of nachos and folding them all together.  Sure, it has a zesty bite with the sauces, beef and chips, but the only thing that rounded out the flavor to really equate a plate of nachos was the sour cream.  That clean, smooth element rounded out the Grilled Stuft rather nicely, but it didn't carry enough wait to say, "Hey, that tastes like nachos!".  Certain things like black/refriend beans, or pico de gallo, lettuce, or some kind of pepper needed to add some essence to really replicate the experience.

Nonetheless, this item is SCRUMPTIOUS and perfect for a "grab and go" Taco Bell stop.  If I were walking through the streets of NYC and happened past one of the randomly placed Taco Bell locations while on my way somewhere else, I would absolutely swing in and grab this for the walk. In fairness, it's not that bad for you and taking it as a walking snack might cancel out half the meal. At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

So worth it.

Who's Your Daddy?

It was an epic Father's Day in Fat Mike's world.  That's right, for those of you who are reading this and didn't already know... Fat Mike is a dad.  Rule #1 in the house, though, is the boy is not allowed to call Daddy "fat", and Daddy is NOT allowed to jokingly (and lovingly) call the boy "fat". Nevertheless, on certain occasions I AM allowed to let the boy tag along for a wondrous and enthusiastic food adventure.  In this case, we took a journey to try the new...

 PIZZA HUT HOT DOG CRUST PIZZA

This, my friends, did NOT disappoint.

We went ALL out.  I gotta tell ya.  I haven't been to a "brick and mortar" Pizza Hut since I went to celebrate a win in pee-wee soccer back in 1988.  However, the Pizza Hut in NJ that we used to go to was still standing and that's where "the boy" (I'm protecting his anonymity) and I went to enjoy in this delicious indulgence.

I wish I was able to take more pictures of the process, but anyone who's reading this who has kids knows that you only have so many hands when you're hanging out and I was only able to grab the "money shot" shown above.  I'll have to use the magic of the blogging keys to accurately describe how this went down.

This is a masterfully crafted pizza.  My primary worry was that the dogs were going to overshadow the pizza, or that the pizza was going to suffer in order to accommodate the dogs.  Neither was the case.  It was impressive how the dogs simply "popped" off the pizza if you wanted to separate the dogs and enjoy them on their own.  As an initial test run, the first thing I did was grab a dog (thinking that the tearing of the pig out of its designated blanked would mangle the slice that the dog was attached to and render the entire slice inedible).  Nothing could have been farther from the truth.  If the eater wishes to enjoy the pizza and the dog independently "The Hut" accommodates that wish.  What's even more impressive is that if you choose to eat the slice from "top to tails", the weight of the "swaddled piggies" doesn't overwhelm the slice and make for a frantic eating experience.  I would've expected the slice to fall apart in my hands, or start to droop since the crust carried such heavy weight, but that never happened.  The eating experience was pleasant from start to finish.  In fairness, it's a lofty expectation for anyone to go into this thinking that all of the hot dogs are going to be evenly cooked.  Admittedly, some were overdone, but I'd say there was a good 65/35 ratio of perfect dogs to overcooked dogs.  "The boy" and I were both impressed with how this entire event transpired, and it made for a FANTASTIC father-son experience.  There were smiles all around the table.  The boy is 2.5 yrs old and he took down his dinner like a champ.

*as a disclaimer, my son is NOT overweight and has a very balanced diet of fruits and vegetables on a regular basis.  I will NOT be lumped into that group of parents who has a satisfied child only when they are eating "kid friendly" foods.  I like to think that this experience was as enjoyable for him as it was for me because we have a balance of food we "need" to eat and food we "want" to eat.* 

Proof of happy faces

I HIGHLY recommend the Pizza Hut Hot Dog Crusted Pizza.  Pizza Hut is displaying the ingenuity and innovation that is crucial in diversifying the American food market and they're executing it with forethought and attention to quality.  I appreciated the experience they provided for me and my family, and I look forward to seeing what they decide to do next to make the pizza world a bigger and better place.

Thanks, Hut. (if you haven't already, please click above)

I'm such a JERK

Guess who's back??

So much has happened since the last post!  There's a lot to get out there, so I hope everyone's ready.  I'm going to try and capture it all in chronological order, but sometimes my excitement gets the best of me so the timeline might fly out the window.  First things first, however, we need to talk about Jerk chips.

As usual, I got beat to the punch on this one by other blogging chip enthusiasts out there on the Inter-Web, but I'm still going to share my view with you all.  You can't find these chips just anywhere, so I want to make sure that if you see these on a random shelf in a random bodega or grocery store you can say, "Oh... these are the chips that Fat Mike told me about!"

I present to you, Dr. Dread's Famous Kettle Cooked Jamaican Jerk Chips:

 These things are AMAZING.  Purchase online here.   I was given them as a gift Thankfully, I have great people in my life who appreciate and contribute to my enthusiasm for finding new and exciting flavors in snack food that's out there these days. #thanksamy.  To be honest, I didn't entirely know what to expect.  I'm a big fan of jerk flavor, and I didn't know if the chip would cut it.  How do you pack all of that big flavor and various spicing onto a chip?  Seems like a tall or, but the doctor is in and knows what he'd doing.  I was pretty impressed.  I couldn't put them down.  If I had to offer a criticism, a chip isn't necessarily the best vessel for all that spice, so there isn't consistency throughout, but there's a good smoke and nice bit of hot spice that accompanies each bite as you move through the bag.  I HIGHLY recommend a nice beer pairing with these.  However, I'll warn you that if you do you might just down the whole thing.  Even something as modest as the "King of Beers" compliments the spicy and unique flavor of these chips and makes for an enjoyable eating experience.

There is one side effect:

Do you remember those old Pringles commercials from the 80s and 90s?  They would emphasize that Pringles would spare you from the "greasy" leftovers of eating bagged chips.  Dr Dread puts those greasy chips to shame.  Even if you exercise surgical precision going into the bag to grab a specifically positioned chip to eat, you're gonna come out of there with SOME spice accompaniment on the fingers or hands.  It's unavoidable.

I'm a finger licker, myself. I love the cakey, orange leftovers from a good bag of Cheetos, and of course I cherish my Doritos dust (as all of the regular readers should know).  These, however, leave an excessive amount of cleanup.  My theory, is that it only makes committing to taking down the entire bag in one sitting that much easier.  After all, do you want to have a few, clean up, put them down, crave a couple more, have a few, and then clean up again?? Of course not.  Open, eat, rinse off... done.  Throw the bag in the garbage, smile to yourself, bathe in that feeling of accomplishment, and say, "Thanks Fat Mike. That was awesome".

Around the World Double Downs

The original KFC Double Down

 Bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and Colonel’s sauce sandwiched between two 100 percent white meat Original Recipe® filets. And of course, no bun.

I hope that everyone's familiar with this KFC sandwich classic.  The Double-Down has a complicated history marred by nay saying from people who disapprove of it's glutinous nature, and bolstered by staggering sales numbers. Motivating KFC to change the sandwich from a LTO to a permanent fixture on the menu.

Of course, Fat Mike is a huge fan of this sandwich.  However, it recently came to my attention that KFC is being stingy about the Double Down options that we have here in the U.S.  I couldn't believe it! Obviously, the initial controversy surrounding this epic sandwich makes it tough for KFC to up the ante every once in a while.  But I thought this was America? I thought we were entitled to the freedom to choose what odd mixture of food enters our mouths and stomachs?  Honestly, sometimes the Internet drives me crazy! People use this forum to create public outcry; directly affecting my ability to walk into a business and purchase something delicious and moderately bad for me. Nobody should ever say, "KFC is making the world fat".  Everyone has a choice about what they put in their face, and I resent the fact that the dumb people who choose to put too much crap in their face inhibit my ability to taste all the great changes being offered by fast food restaurants. #soapbox

Having said all that, I decided to take my chicken sandwich by the horns and manifest my own destiny.  Of course, you must be wondering, "Fat Mike, what on EARTH are you talking about?" Allow me to explain:

On Jan 26-27, KFC did a limited release of the Double Down Hot Dog.  A fried chicken “bun”proffering a chicken-and-cheese hot dog, covered in honey mustard and “relish dressing”.  Are you surprised that you didn't know about this? Don't be.  It was only release in the Philippines.  (read more about it here).  The limited release over 50 stores sold out immediately, and created a huge surge of awareness over social media. That's how it found its way to the Fat.

Once that door was open, I found out that the well of food opportunity at KFC went even deeper.  An article written in 2014 revealed that KFCs in South Korea have a menu item called the "Zinger Double Down King". While the old Double Down was two slabs of fried chicken, a few slices of bacon and some cheese in between, the "Zinger" has a MEAT PATTY in the middle.  There's even a "mystery sauce" on the bottom that looks like it could be a zesty pepper ranch sauce. Mmmmm...

I never let anyone control my destiny, and so when Super Bowl Sunday arrived I was determined to try all of these delicious sandwiches first hand.  I got a plan in place and I went to work.  Since I was creating for a larger group, I didn't attempt to directly recreate the sandwich in size.  I decided to go more of a "slider" route by halving the hot dogs and minimizing burger size.  Here's how it turned out:

First of all, if you've never made Ina Garten's Oven Fried Chicken recipe, then you should take that on first.  This is my "go to" for fried chicken every time, and I used it for prepping all my chicken for this glorious feast.

The original double down posed the easiest execution.  I used fried boneless chicken breasts for the buns, baked thick-cut Hormel bacon, and sliced Monterey Jack cheese.

This dish was a nice, simple favorite.  I might recommend making this as a simple finger food for a fun occasion because it's not super rich and is universally accepted by most party goers.  The original double down was never about dazzle, just an idea and execution.

Next was the Zinger King.  With a little assistance from my Sous Chef, Fil, the patties were crafted with ground chuck, S&P, garlic powder, finely diced shallots and parsely. Fried chicken breasts were used for the buns, and each sandwich had Hormel bacon, as well as a ranch sauce on the bottom.

This was definitely a stand-out for both my personal tastes, and the tastes of the guests.  The crispiness of the chicken, the salt of the bacon, and the juicy burger married perfectly together.  There was a hesitancy of each eater to dive right in because the overall structure seems very daunting, but the manageable size combined with the idea that this is simply a protein packed power punch made the concept much more favorable to all eaters.  Once they dove in there were smiles all around, and getting to try the Zinger turned into one of the highlights for my Super Bowl Sunday.

Finally, came the dog.

This was a lot more challenging because of the shape needed to execute the bun effect.  I used boneless chicken thighs in this case so that I could have a little more malleability in the dark meat. Additionally, I used 4in bamboo skewers to curve the chicken pieces when adding into the frying oil. Some worked better than others, but for the most part the hot dog was a great success.  In addition, I cooked up my own jalepeno cheddar cheese sauce (pictured above) to add on top.

This was also well received, but the hot dog yielded a lot more salt than the burger and made for a slightly overwhelming flavor blast in the face.  I executed the dogs in a simple "dirty water" style, and may (in the future) try grilling the dogs to add a bit of a smokey, charred flavor.  However, the tender consistency of the dark chicken meat, with the soft Bologna-like texture of the dog made the overall "sandwich" go down nice and smooth.  The cheddar sauce was a PERFECT addition and rounded out the meal nicely.  It really "tied the room together".  If I'm EVER in the Philippines, I'll swing by a KFC and truly decide how mine measured up. 

So, there you have it.  The "Around the World" Double-Down experience. It made for a Super Super Bowl and worked well for thumbing my nose at all those folks at KFC that try to keep the Fat from enjoying all the luscious food options out there.  Take THAT, Colonel.  You're a good and loyal friend, but you abandoned me and I had to fend for myself.  Hopefully, you'll make it up to me in the future with some new, stateside option that will blow my mind.