A toast to the effort

What else can you say about Cheez-Its? They're the best!  Unique, well-crafted, consistently delicious, and easy to grab almost anywhere.  They've been a part of the "flavor game" for a while with almost 10 flavors in the market.  What most people DON'T know is that ONE of those flavors is "Extra Toasty".  That's right, you know the taste.  Every once in a while, you reach into a box of regular Cheez-Its and you find one or two that sat under the toasting lamp for just a hair too long and have a slightly more charred look/taste.  Well, the folks at Sunshine got smart and boxed 'em up.  

I was not surprised to see the banner at the top of the box, which reads "#1 requested Cheez-It flavor".  It's a logical idea that almost any Cheez-It lover can embrace. That's why I was surprised to find that the "extra toasty" are only available in select locations.  I went from store to store only to find the regular assortment of flavors ranging from Original to White Cheddar.  Therefore,  I want to preface the rest of this post by saying, if you happen to wander past these in the snack isle, they're worth picking up regardless of whatever you might read hereafter.

Of course, when the Fat finds this selection in a random store, what does he do? That's right, he buys 2 boxes for a head to head taste off.  After all, the idea of having a rival box that could potentially replace my "go-to" original Cheez-Its tickled my imagination.  I was obligated to see if Sunshine had really beaten their classic cheese cracker snack with this dark and stormy option.  It was a moral imperative!

What I found left me a little surprised, and a LOT more disappointed.  Although the extra toasties had that little bit of char that made them that much more delicious, Sunshine didn't embrace the whole idea of a "firm toast". Albeit, the definition of "extra toasty" is subjective, but I expected a dynamic difference between the "extra toasty" and the regular "Zits". I didn't really get that from these.  My tactic was simple: I tried one, then the other, and then tried handfuls of each separately.  When push came to shove, there was no dynamic difference between the two. When it was all said and done, the extra toasty didn't leave me especially satisfied, but rather wanting more of that toasty flavor throughout.  I guess what's deceiving about the extra toasty box is that it takes away from that magic of finding the "unicorn" in the regular box of Cheez-Its.  With the luster of finding the random "toasty" gone, it was tough to say that one Cheez-It far surpassed the other.  I do intend to try the "extra toasty" again, and may even go as far as to throw some of them in the toaster oven myself to see if I can draw more dynamic flavor out of them.

Needless to say, after the initial evaluation the bags were COMBINED to make the PENULTIMATE part of the tasting.  Together, these two flavors really just made the most exceptional box of Cheez-Its ever.  The experience overall left me wondering if SOME boxes of the extra toasty Cheez-Its are more "cooked" than others?  I have not yet had an opportunity to explore this idea further, as these are hard to come by. That's why I HIGHLY recommend (despite the lackluster review) that if you bump into these in your local grocery/bodega you pick them up to try for yourself.  I'm not done with the extra toasty Cheez-Its.  They're out there, and they're TOASTY!!!

Not Hizz... HERR'S!!

It's astonishing to me how little awareness a brand can have in the marketplace.  I'm constantly surprised by people who have never herr'd of Herr's (you see what I did there?).  They have no idea that Herr's is a brand that cranks out A TON of consistent "go to" snacks.  Most of the time, when someone comments to me that they've never had Herr's I say, "Sure you have. They make that dope cheddar popcorn in the orange bag" and then they get it.  However, as much as I follow the various chip purveyors out there, I've never noticed a truly unique product on the shelves from Herr's. Most of the time, there's just another popcorn, or a regular potato chip, but something recently caught my eye.    

I present to you Herr's Jalapeno Popper Flavored Cheese Curls

Look, I'm a loyal Cheese Doodler.  I don't subscribe to the "cheese curls are the same as cheese doodles" argument. Wise makes Cheese Doodles and all others are just knock offs.  Typically, I don't reach for the curl if the Doodle is available, but I was SO intrigued by the flavor profile that I had to grab this bag.  I was amazed at what I found inside.

Herr's really knocked this one out of the park.  Not only does this curl embrace every layered nuance of the popper, but once the delicious curl dissolves in your mouth, you are immediately compelled to grab another.  Let's be clear, this is NOT a Jalapeno flavored Cheese Curl. This is a Jalapeno POPPER curl. I'm pointing that out because Herr's makes sure to embrace the spiciness of the pepper with the blend of cheddar cheese and toasted taste of the deep fried exterior.  I was SUPER impressed.  After reading the back of the back (left) I was happy to see that Ed Herr himself had endorsed these bad boys, and I tipped my cap to him for the effort.  Better yet, if you had NOT noticed in the picture posted above, this bag is pre-labeled with a price point of only $2! That's right!


This reminded of the Doublemint gum of old, where the retailers are OBLIGATED to stick to a specific price point based on packaging (click to see reference).  I am a FULL supporter of this initiative.  I was able to walk into a grocery in NYC and walk out with a FULL SIZED back of curls for TWO DOLLARS!!  Thank you Herr's for not only creating a deliciously crafted snack, but slapping a reasonable price on it that all store owners have to universally abide to.  I threw my hand in there over, and over, and over again to the point where my digits started to resemble the curls that I was consuming.

As an even STRONGER endorsement, the group of dudes that I was eating in front of decided to try and ALL of them agreed that this was a unique and tasty snack.  Take it from me, it is VERY rare that any group of people will agree on a snack food.  This proved to be a great accomplishment on the part of Herr's.  From that moment on, I've been regularly asked about these curls, and to my amazement I only see them on limited shelves.  Go out and find these, folks.  They are DIVINE.  You'd be doing yourself a disservice, and ever person around you if you don't go out and buy the HELL out of this product.  You wont' be disappointed.  

The product locator on the Herr's website allows to you purchase directly from the company, but doesn't seem to have a specific locator that will tell you where these curls can be found.  My recommendation? Either buy them direct and have them mailed to your home, or take $2 now, put it in your purse, wallet, money clip or whatever, and be ready to THROW DOWN if you walk by a store that has these.  $2 of emergency money for curls.  $2 to ensure that happiness can be purchased at anytime, anyplace.   Because you're worth it - L'Oréal

A Whopper of a Halloween

Another Halloween has come and gone, and this one was fun.  The family rocked a FANTASTIC "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" theme that had been in the works since LAST Halloween, and the kid raked in a ton of candy with his fantastically convincing Mickey Mouse.

Unfortunately, there was a disappointing moment of the Halloween season. I have to speak up about how Burger King decided to celebrate this fun, and creepy holiday.

Please note: this will not be a typical FS update and may contain content unsuitable for squeamish readers. (no pics)

The Halloween Whopper was released on September 28th and The Fat picked one up on the evening of September 29th.  Of course, it was my intention to have this post released on Halloween Day, but I'll blame my other full-time obligations for my lack of punctuality on this one. Besides, I was having WAY too much fun on Halloween and the NYMets were in the world series, so I couldn't possibly have gotten my sh*t together for this post (no pun intended... but that's coming later).

There's not much to say about this sandwich, folks.  This experience was lackluster at best.  I heard there was A1 steak sauce baked into the bun, which gave it the black color, and that was the part I was the most pumped about.  I was really hoping for a rich, Worcestershire based flavor to add to the overall burger experience.  Needless to say, I didn't get it.

As you can plainly see in the pic to the left, there is NO way that the dark color of the bun could be created by using A1 steak sauce alone. There was definitely evidence of black dye or food coloring to enhance that deep black color.  Of course, I can't prove that definitively, (wait... can I? ... that's coming later)  To make matters worse, the burger was dressed with a delicious, but overwhelming spiced BBQ sauce, which added to the morbid, "bloody", appearance of the burger, but muddled any other flavors found in the bun.  I did tear off a piece and eat it on it's own, but still came up empty in the A1 department.  SO disappointing!  Little did I know what was yet to come.

After spending the rest of the day complaining to whomever would listen about how sh*#ty (hint,hint) the burger was, I decided that it was time to move on and pretend that the eat never happened.  I sat on the porcelain throne at home and began to put the past behind me.  However, when going through routine maintenance and "verifying departure", an unfamiliar color caught my attention.  Perhaps it was the lighting in the bathroom, or perhaps my TP wasn't a pure white? Nope... Something was off.  What was leaving this dark color skid mark?  Where is this deep, dark, almost forest green color coming from?  You guessed it: The Halloween Whopper!!

In all of its glory, the Halloween Whopper found a way to grab attention, even from the GRAVE. Apparently, the black dye permeated my poop and left this dark, ominous mass floating in the bowl. Sorry, folks, but it was impressive.  All of a sudden, I was giddy with amazement at this new phenomenon! I was more excited than when I was actually sitting down to eat the sandwich.  I thought it was HILARIOUS! What wasn't so funny, is that it continued for ALMOST 3 DAYS!!

It became a waiting game, and made every bathroom experience more exciting wondering if the Halloween Whopper would still show itself.  The following week, I noticed a flurry on the Internet about this issue, and there was a lot of concern being expressed from people about how this food affected their insides.  I, on the other hand, thought that the idea of my colon being coated in this black dye attaching itself to my poop was fantastic.  This was like having red colored pee after eating an excess of fresh beets, or getting that whiff of asparagus from the bowl only MINUTES after eating that stinky veg.  Different foods have interesting and fun affects on the body, and this was no different. I'm not going to praise Burger King for my suspenseful and exciting bathroom experience, but I will say that it made eating the sandwich worthwhile.

(please note: I really, really, really, really, really wanted to take pictures as proof, but thought better of it. I couldn't have Faturated Sats go down that road.  You'll have to take my word for it.  You're welcome.)