Tuesday, September 20, 2016

I've got a case of the SPLITS!

'Twas "Janet Jackson night" while vacationing at the end of summer, and these little surprises crossed my path.

"Splits" Pretzels


Have you ever had these?  I don't know if they're new, exclusive to certain areas, or just a figment of my imagination, but DAMN...

If a thin pretzel and a sourdough pretzel had a baby, it would be this delicious treat. For the record, I'm not a huge pretzel enthusiast.  To be perfectly honest, I've always found pretzels to be a manipulative snack used to induce drinking.  I guess I'm a bit jaded from snacking on pretzels over a decade of bartending.  Nevertheless, it's rare that something as simple as a pretzel can knock Fat Mike on his a$$.  Let me get to the point...  The Fat is endorsing this snack SUPER hard.
Like I said, I was enjoying a collection of Janet Jackson (just for the heck of it) while sitting by a fire pit with one of my absolute best friends near the end of the summer when we raided the cabinet and found this diamond in the salted rough.  We were occupying a rented house and I'm not sure if we were poaching their food, but we busted these out for some quick sustenance and I'll be DAMNED if this didn't legitimately put me in a state of shock.  As you can see from the pics, this is a hearty and delicious pretzel.

At first sight, it seemed like nothing, but it snuck up on me.  After the first few, I thought to myself, "what is this?"  I couldn't put my finger on what made this unique.  After all, it was only a pretzel. But soon I realized, that it was a pretzel with "body" that lacked the aggressive chewing requirement typically associated with larger pretzels.  In addition, there was also a cooked flavor that made sure it could never be mistaken for anything traditional.  It was almost like a "smoke", like a burnt flavor throughout the whole bag that reminded me of a cracker that had previously attempted the "toasted" application without achieving as much success. Each bite kept calling me back for more.  But it wasn't because I was hungry... they just kept calling.  Like a phone solicitor in the 1980s, or a crazy ex-girlfriend on your birthday.  They were just THAT good.  Wherever "Splits" came from, these snack pioneers hit the nail right on the head.

If you have the opportunity, seek these out.  They aren't large bags, but they don't need to be.  So good. So choice.  Kudos to the creators.  Appropriately, these bite-sized pieces of gold are manufactured by Unique, who have been in the biz since 1921. Check out their description of how they make Splits on their website:

During our "Unique" process, we let the raw pretzel set to perfection. When ready, the pretzel is placed in the oven where it bursts open and bubbles up creating crispy hollow pockets and crunchy deep crevices that are full of flavor. Because of our all natural baking process, every pretzel raises differently making each "Split" Unique. "Splits" are not just another pretzel shaped cracker, they pack a serious crunch and are tantalizing to the palate of any pretzel lover.

Badass.




There appears to be a wide array of options, and I plan on seeing what this purveyor has to offer the snack world. Fat Mike is gonna stalk these folks out like George McFly: 




If you haven't been exposed, I recommend SEEKING THIS ONE OUT!!  Fat Mike commands it.