Thursday, August 25, 2016

Throwback Thursday Snacking?

This one goes out to all the long-term snackies out there... Who remembers these?


Proving yet again that the Internet is an exciting and wild place, these were ordered from Amazon by a colleague that I work with.  I was so impressed, that I thought I'd give a shout on Faturated Sats for the effort and nostalgia.

Dunkaroos are a snack initially released in the early 90s.  Take a look at the quick history here if needed.  Some genius somewhere thought up the idea of dipping cookies into cake frosting as a snack and changed my life forever.  For some reason, this didn't live in the market for very long.  The snack was never officially discontinued, but production was simply scaled back and it became virtually impossible to procure these little packets anywhere. Now that the Internet exists, if you can get past the idea of eating a technically discontinued food that is mailed to your house instead of sold by retailers, then you can enjoy this magical treat anytime.

Let me give you an idea of how deep this runs for the Fat.  After "College Round 3" at the age of 25 when I decided to be an overachiever and earn a 4.0 GPA while chasing my college degree, I worked towards a single, celebratory snack.  For months, I was driven by the idea of getting through my final semester to purchase two ingredients: 1) a package of Oreo cookies and 2) a 16oz container of Betty Crocker "Rich & Creamy" vanilla cake frosting. Thereby, replicating the Dunkaroos experience with my own specialty cookie/frosting combo.  I lounged in front of the TV and plowed through my homemade Dunkaroos with a euphoric vigor after accomplishing my academic goals.  It was SO worth it.  I truly had achieved greatness.

Needless to say, it was a happy surprise to find the real deal in the office years later, and I was very impressed by the number of people who not only knew what Dunkaroos were, but celebrated them. Moreover, I was happy to observe those who were NOT previously aware of this heavenly snack experiencing the joy of dunking sugar cookies in sugar frosting. That zany, Aussie kangaroo mascot is trying to save us all.  Just let him.

Thanks again, Internet... and Vince.


Monday, August 15, 2016

The Cluck Stops Here



Happy 4th of July?  Wait... what day is it?  Is summer really almost over? Holy @#$*!

Sorry for the hiatus, but the Fat's been pretty busy these days. I started writing this post during the July holiday weekend to get you all caught up on some epic eating experiences and it's been until now that I actually had the time to sit and get it done.
There's so much, I'm not sure where to begin...  I know, I'll start at the beginning.

Previously, I've mentioned that working in NYC has its benefits when you're a food enthusiast. Sure, most of the time the title of "foodie" is only applied to folks who seek out modern, unique fusion foods or follow around fancy James Beard award winners.  I believe that the term can still apply to folks like myself who want to explore where to find the best executions of food. This time, my mission was to explore the players in the chicken sandwich game.  So I went out for a 20min walk one day in NYC and collected sandwiches from what I believe to be the top 5 contenders to sit down for an eat.  All at once... for lunch...by myself.

The conversation began when I confessed to some colleagues that I'd never had a chicken sandwich from Shake Shack. For those who are unfamiliar, this is a chain restaurant that was established in NYC in the year 2000.  I won't share the full background, but you can click here to learn more.  It wasn't that this was the most celebrated chicken sandwich universally, but people will argue that Shake Shake is a fantastic contributor to the fast food game, so it got the chicken sandwich crave started.

To make matters worse, Chick-Fil-A had just opened it's first NYC eatery in 2015 mere blocks away from my office.  I'm not an enthusiast, and one could say that I'm "anti-Chick-Fil-A", but that's mainly because I don't like to eat food that's cooked in sadness (reference). Since I normally steered clear(click) of walking into this franchise, this decision to try the strong contenders provided a platform for biting the bullet and seeing if all the Chick-Fil-A fans out there were really justified in their loyalty.

The players:  Burger King, Wendy's, McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A, and Shake Shack.


Let's see who got it done. In order to keep this simple, I'll organize from WORST to BEST. That's right, you'll have to read (or scroll) to find out.

#5 - The Burger King crispy chicken sandwich

Having followed The King's career in the chicken game quite closely over the years, I thought they'd have had a better showing. The King's court has been making some bad choices these days and this chicken sandwich is representative of that.

I went with the Tendercrisp Chicken sandwich thinking that historically their chicken tenders stood out from the crowd. I thought this would be a smart play if they were incorporating the same techniques.  Unfortunately, this was NOT the case.

Blandy, bland, bland.  I have no idea how they pulled it off, but this chicken was so nondescript and soft that it actually felt more like eating a fish filet than a chicken sandwich. I know that makes it sound gross... cause it was.  The brioche bun, while classy, just added another spongy element to a chicken sandwich that needed some more crispiness and taste.  Where were the herbs and spices? C'mon, King.  I expected better from a proprietor with such royal character.  Perhaps the "original chicken" is the only way to go? But that's for another visit.  This one was a miss.




#4 should come as no surprise - McDonald's Buttermilk Crispy chicken sandwich


If you're already familiar with the "Ultimate McDonald's Breakfast" post from late 2015, then you know this isn't my first dive into the Buttermilk Crispy chicken sandwich.  As chicken sandwiches go, McDonald's goes the extra mile to ensure that they offer a crispy style sandwich for the folks who really care.  Just like the King, however, McDonald's has an "original" to fall back on if you want a lower price point, but that's a "value menu" item that doesn't provide the bells and whistles needed for a solid sandwich.  If you've got the extra $3, go with the buttermilk chicken.

This sandwich is tolerable if you are a McDonald's loyalist. Let's say you're driving down an endless highway, and you stop a rest area for sustenance, and the only choices are BK or Mickey D's, and you're CRAVING ONLY a chicken sandwich... then this will save your life.  However, if you're standing in the middle of some fast food mecca with a myriad of food options around you, I suggest crossing the street and heading elsewhere.  This sandwich is nothing to write home about.  It's not as bland as the BK chick, but it's just as boring.  The chicken sandwich market is booming with places that craft quality bites of homestyle chicken and this doesn't hit the mark.  The chicken is sorta crispy, but they suffer the same buttery "brioche sponge" problem of their royal predecessor.  I'm unsure why brioche is the go-to bread these days, but it's not adding any value to these sandwiches. Sorry, Ronald, but it's back to the drawing board if you want to create a fried chicken sandwich that's going to be able to hang with the big boys (or girls...that's for you Wendy).

#3 - Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich

I never thought that this would make it to third on the list.  Ironically enough, it came down to faith.  I had FAITH in the competitors out there and I was disappointed by an unfocused tyrannical leader and his idiot, clown cousin.  The unfortunate truth is that there's something Chick-Fil-A does to their chicken that is flavorful and delicious.  There is a magical combination of herbs and spices that they've thrown together to create a perfect breading and perfect balance of spice with natural chicken flavor.

But before we get carried away, let's discuss the sandwich as a whole.  I don't care how many hundreds of herbs and spices dress the bird, or whether there's a magical team of angels straight from heaven working the line in the kitchen, there's no excuse for having a $4+ sandwich that consists only of cooked chicken, bread, and pickles. That's ridiculous.  I'm not suggesting that every sandwich has to be douched in mayonnaise, but a little bit of crisp lettuce, tomato, or a unique special sauce isn't too much to ask.  This is a delicious execution, but lacking in "bang for the buck".  If Chick-Fil-A thinks that they can win me over with a little bit of fancy spicing and cooking technique they are sorely mistaken.  It'll take more than that to get me to walk through those doors of judgment. Please note: a donation of the $5 that was spent at Chick-Fil-A was made to The Point Foundation National LGBTQ Scholarship Fund. Click here to donate now!

#2 - Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich


I know what you're going to say, "HEY! How come Wendy's get's the Spicy Chicken Sandwich?" The answer if plain and simple: I love Wendy, and she loves me, and I'll do whatever she tells me to do. As readers, you'll simply need to have faith in the fact that I know what Wendy's has to offer, and while the Wendy's Homestyle chicken is a strong sandwich, the Spicy Chicken sandwich is one of the best out there.  I'm using this opportunity to assure you folks that if given the choice between the preceding options listed above, and you're on the fence about giving money to Chick-Fil-A, this is a SOLID choice.

It may not look like much, but this chicken sammie has some good bang for the buck.  They don't skimp on the condiments, and Wendy knows how to make some kickin' chicken.  It's not "melt your face" spicy, but just enough to make you want to keep tasting it with another bite.  That smiling redhead does it again with a delightful dining experience and grabs the #2 spot.

#1 - Shake Shack's Chick'n Shack

That's right... not even the alluring eyes of Wendy could get me to deny that the Chick'n Shake is one of the absolute BEST chicken sandwiches out there right now.  I mean, C'MON, just look at this thing:

The sandwich has a slightly higher price tag a $6+, but it is SO worth it.  The thing is served in a box. The kind that you are given when you're carrying multiple food items at a sporting event.  All for just one sandwich.  The chicken is cooked in a manner that makes you believe your grandmother is making it in the Shake Shack kitchen from scratch.  The breading peels off like the chicken is donating it to you willingly.  This sandwich lacks the LTO (lettuce, tomato, onion) used by some of the competitors, but there's shredded lettuce and a ZESTY buttermilk ranch dressing to substitute. The dressing adds a needed zip of flavor to the eat and is unique from any of the other sandwiches in the market.  This sandwich is a beast to get through.  Especially, after you've just eaten 4 other sandwiches already, but there was NOTHING that could stop me from taking down what ended up being the uncontested victor in the chicken sandwich tasting.

It's worth pointing out that bonus points were thrown to the Shake Shack sandwich makers when I realized that the bun was only partially cut on purpose.  This sandwich is served on a potato roll that is left bound in the back to prevent slippage.  That's right.  When held properly, the makers assured that you lose no sauce, patty, or lettuce out of the backside when wrapping your mouth around this epic, fried chicken mammoth.

Shake Shack, you truly give thought and care to the food that you are supplying to the masses, and you've made a true fan out of this guy.  Fat Mike was EXTREMELY impressed by this showing, and did NOT expect there to be such a knock-out victory.





You left all other chicken sandwiches in your wake.
You turned a Mac attack into a Shack attack.
You knocked the King off his thrown and stole his crown.
You kicked those cows in the udder and said "you're welcome"
You swung that little redhead over your head by her ponytails.
Well played.  I totally smell what the Shack is cookin',