This was all spurred when I received and email that had a picture claiming that the cob center was made of banana. In typical Fat Mike form I thought to myself, "Oh, so even though it's COVERED in candy corn, it's got a healthy center! Let's do it!" Sometimes I find it necessary to justify these things to myself in order for these shenanigans to make more sense while doing them... I digress.
I started doing some research and found that claims behind the banana center were wildly exaggerated. Apparently, there was a VERY low success level due to the fragile nature of the banana. Typically, when attempting to make Candy Corn on the Cob, one uses rolled cookie dough as the cob which allows for the candy corn to sit firmly and comfortably. This did not deter me from still attempting to get the banana to work, but after turning a few bananas into a gooey mush, I knew I had to think this through a bit further.
That's when it hit me! POW! There's no need to abandon the banana in favor of the cookie dough... why not use both? That way, the nutritious center can be maintained and the candy corns can still be properly applied! I felt like a genius. All I had to do was roll out the cookie dough and roll it around the banana. This meant that Fat Mike's version of Candy Corn on the Cob would be a banana, wrapped in cookie dough and then lined with candy corns. Easy enough, right? WRONG!
The slick exterior of the banana made it almost impossible to keep the cookie dough wrapped around it. Even when I tried stuffing the banana into the cookie dough, the slippery suckers would just fall right out. This would not do. I had to think even FURTHER out of the box if I was going to pull this off. That's when it dawned on me. How do you eliminate the slick exterior of the banana? Coat it in chocolate! That way, the cookie dough could adhere to the chocolate surface as opposed to being directly applied to the banana. I got all my ingredients ready, and we were read to go. Just to be clear, this now meant that Fat Mike's version of Candy Corn on the Cob was now: a banana, coated in chocolate, wrapped in cookie dough, and then lined with candy corns. Mmmm...
The bananas ranged in size, of course, but after the previous experience working with bananas I knew it might take a few attempts to get it just right. Notice that the tips of the bananas were removed in order to create the illusion of a natural corn cob with the trimmed ends.
Next, I set up the double boiler and melted some chocolate. The bananas were dipped in the melted chocolate, placed on parchment paper and then refrigerated for about 30 min to firm up.
Finally, it was cookie dough time. I REALLY wish that I had been able to take video footage of the application while I was working with the dough and bananas, but alas these things that I do for myself do not typically draw a crowd of helpers. :-) Needless to say, the process was messy and difficult. When working with cookie dough, Fat Mike always recommends having a small bowl of water handy. Similar to working with Matzoh or other binding ingredients, the water keeps the cookie dough from sticking to the chef's hands instead of their intended surface. It doesn't keep your hands from being a huge mess, but before I started using the H20 I was basically wearing cookie dough gloves and eating most of the ingredient. Haha When it was all said and done, I was ready to start applying the candy corns.
I feel obligated to point out that the reason why my cobs look like 3 lovely, squeezed out pieces of poo is because I used cookies and creme cookie dough rather than straight sugar cookie. I wasn't going to buy chocolate chip because that would just add a crunchy texture and could possibly interfere with the candy corn placement. Also, I suffered from growing pains learning the grocery store after my recent move (see previous posts) and the cookie dough seemed to be the only smooth option I could find. (I found soon after that I was looking in the wrong place for cookie dough and simply bought the "boutique" stuff that was being offered,,, if you weren't aware... I'm an idiot) Now that my poo *ahem* I mean my corn cobs were ready, I started applying my candy corns.
This had to be done in stages because the cobs would start to soften slightly the more they were handled. I had to apply a couple rows of candy corns, then place in the freezer for a few minutes, and then start again. All in all, the process took me roughly an hour and change from "soup to nuts", but the final result was pretty decent.
Obviously, it wasn't perfect, but I was able to get the cobs successfully made to a point where they were reasonable facsimiles of what I had seen posted elsewhere. The eating was a whole other process all together. Because of the fragile nature of the product, I was forced to use a knife and fork to cut the cob in sections as I ate. However, the rounds that resulted made for an EXCELLENT mix of banana, chocolate and sugar. Make no mistake, candy corn is just straight sugar and it is more noticeable when you're eating it with cookie dough and chocolate. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself and was able to have a little bit of fun experimenting in the process.
Time for the commentary. Would I ever do this again? HELL no. Why? First of all, I think I'm the only person on the planet who could and would eat this. I don't see this being something that a lot of people have a sweet tooth for. In my experience, candy corn has a limited fan base, and this is a LOT of candy corn in one snack. Additionally, the execution is lengthy and inconsistent. Even if I were going to whip this up as a show piece or a novelty item the presentation isn't dazzling enough to be called impressive (as you can see above) for even someone more anal retentive than myself. Regardless, it's a fun activity if you find yourself with a butt-ton of leftover candy corn from Halloween or whatever, and if you're brave enough to put the work in there is definitely a sense of accomplishment when it's all over. Other than that, I can't say much more about this snack. Side note: eat it early if you make it. Fat Mike was up until almost 3am after getting this bad boy down. Sugar is a helluva thing. :-)
