Unfortunately, there was a disappointing moment of the Halloween season. I have to speak up about how Burger King decided to celebrate this fun, and creepy holiday.
Please note: this will not be a typical FS update and may contain content unsuitable for squeamish readers. (no pics)
The Halloween Whopper was released on September 28th and The Fat picked one up on the evening of September 29th. Of course, it was my intention to have this post released on Halloween Day, but I'll blame my other full-time obligations for my lack of punctuality on this one. Besides, I was having WAY too much fun on Halloween and the NYMets were in the world series, so I couldn't possibly have gotten my sh*t together for this post (no pun intended... but that's coming later).
There's not much to say about this sandwich, folks. This experience was lackluster at best. I heard there was A1 steak sauce baked into the bun, which gave it the black color, and that was the part I was the most pumped about. I was really hoping for a rich, Worcestershire based flavor to add to the overall burger experience. Needless to say, I didn't get it.
As you can plainly see in the pic to the left, there is NO way that the dark color of the bun could be created by using A1 steak sauce alone. There was definitely evidence of black dye or food coloring to enhance that deep black color. Of course, I can't prove that definitively, (wait... can I? ... that's coming later) To make matters worse, the burger was dressed with a delicious, but overwhelming spiced BBQ sauce, which added to the morbid, "bloody", appearance of the burger, but muddled any other flavors found in the bun. I did tear off a piece and eat it on it's own, but still came up empty in the A1 department. SO disappointing! Little did I know what was yet to come.
After spending the rest of the day complaining to whomever would listen about how sh*#ty (hint,hint) the burger was, I decided that it was time to move on and pretend that the eat never happened. I sat on the porcelain throne at home and began to put the past behind me. However, when going through routine maintenance and "verifying departure", an unfamiliar color caught my attention. Perhaps it was the lighting in the bathroom, or perhaps my TP wasn't a pure white? Nope... Something was off. What was leaving this dark color skid mark? Where is this deep, dark, almost forest green color coming from? You guessed it: The Halloween Whopper!!
In all of its glory, the Halloween Whopper found a way to grab attention, even from the GRAVE. Apparently, the black dye permeated my poop and left this dark, ominous mass floating in the bowl. Sorry, folks, but it was impressive. All of a sudden, I was giddy with amazement at this new phenomenon! I was more excited than when I was actually sitting down to eat the sandwich. I thought it was HILARIOUS! What wasn't so funny, is that it continued for ALMOST 3 DAYS!!
It became a waiting game, and made every bathroom experience more exciting wondering if the Halloween Whopper would still show itself. The following week, I noticed a flurry on the Internet about this issue, and there was a lot of concern being expressed from people about how this food affected their insides. I, on the other hand, thought that the idea of my colon being coated in this black dye attaching itself to my poop was fantastic. This was like having red colored pee after eating an excess of fresh beets, or getting that whiff of asparagus from the bowl only MINUTES after eating that stinky veg. Different foods have interesting and fun affects on the body, and this was no different. I'm not going to praise Burger King for my suspenseful and exciting bathroom experience, but I will say that it made eating the sandwich worthwhile.
(please note: I really, really, really, really, really wanted to take pictures as proof, but thought better of it. I couldn't have Faturated Sats go down that road. You'll have to take my word for it. You're welcome.)
After spending the rest of the day complaining to whomever would listen about how sh*#ty (hint,hint) the burger was, I decided that it was time to move on and pretend that the eat never happened. I sat on the porcelain throne at home and began to put the past behind me. However, when going through routine maintenance and "verifying departure", an unfamiliar color caught my attention. Perhaps it was the lighting in the bathroom, or perhaps my TP wasn't a pure white? Nope... Something was off. What was leaving this dark color skid mark? Where is this deep, dark, almost forest green color coming from? You guessed it: The Halloween Whopper!!
In all of its glory, the Halloween Whopper found a way to grab attention, even from the GRAVE. Apparently, the black dye permeated my poop and left this dark, ominous mass floating in the bowl. Sorry, folks, but it was impressive. All of a sudden, I was giddy with amazement at this new phenomenon! I was more excited than when I was actually sitting down to eat the sandwich. I thought it was HILARIOUS! What wasn't so funny, is that it continued for ALMOST 3 DAYS!!
It became a waiting game, and made every bathroom experience more exciting wondering if the Halloween Whopper would still show itself. The following week, I noticed a flurry on the Internet about this issue, and there was a lot of concern being expressed from people about how this food affected their insides. I, on the other hand, thought that the idea of my colon being coated in this black dye attaching itself to my poop was fantastic. This was like having red colored pee after eating an excess of fresh beets, or getting that whiff of asparagus from the bowl only MINUTES after eating that stinky veg. Different foods have interesting and fun affects on the body, and this was no different. I'm not going to praise Burger King for my suspenseful and exciting bathroom experience, but I will say that it made eating the sandwich worthwhile.
(please note: I really, really, really, really, really wanted to take pictures as proof, but thought better of it. I couldn't have Faturated Sats go down that road. You'll have to take my word for it. You're welcome.)
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