More Reasons to Ring the Bell - Pt. 2

And so, I bring you part two...

If you're a regular reader (Hahahahahahahahahaha!), then you already knew about the Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights donut that is served as a part of the glorious Taco Bell breakfast.  

Well, as of July 2nd every TB location started serving these delightful, little creations.  Initially, it was my impression that these were going to be served as an alternative to the aforementioned Cinnabon versions and only be available during breakfast hours.  To my elation, as my Father In Law and I walked into "The Bell" after 4th of July weekend we found out that these delights were on the menu ALL DAY!

After downing a considerable meal consisting of the Grilled Stuft Nacho, Bacon Club Chalupa, Doritos Los Tacos, and a Burrito Supreme, I opted to dive into this bag of happiness to see just what all the fuss (in my own mind) was about.

This was an exceptional experience that I never expected.  Apparently, when Taco Bell says, "made from Cap'n Crunch's Cereal" they are NOT kidding.  What I expected was to have a traditional donut, rolled in crushed Cap'n Crunch, with a vanilla frosting (of sorts) on the inside.  Instead, what I got was dough that smelled of the familiar Crunch Berries that the Cap'n is so fond of, and a taste which verified that every INCH of the donut is created from the very fabric of the cereal that I know and hold so dear.  The donut has a saturating richness and an overwhelming cereal flavor that even surprised the Fat.  It was a happy surprise, mind you, but a surprise nonetheless.  Here's what was the most astonishing part of the whole experience:  There was no "milky" center with frosting in the middle.  It was so STRANGE!

It's almost like the formula concocted by "The Bell" had inadvertently absorbed the creamy frosting center.  As you bite into it, it feels soft and moist (that's what she said.. wha?), but the frosting is just NOT there. This was amazing. The sweetness; the "ghost" of the frosting was there, but no evidence of its actual presence whatsoever.

 This is either a feat of amazing ingenuity, or a flaw in the execution because EVEN for Fat Mike this was (to use a term that I've learned from Chef Geoffrey Zakarian from watching "Chopped) cloyingly sweet.  The Cap'n Crunch delights are offered in 2, 4, and 12 packs but unless I was on some kind of determined bender (which I've consciously achieved in the past) I couldn't IMAGINE eating more than 4 of these.  I very much recommend trying the 4 pack to enjoy the rich, rich, rich, richness of the Cap'n Crunch Delights, but it's a little too much for an indulgence further than that.  I'm all about enjoying things that are delicious, but this is like nothing I've seen before.  Even the remnants left behind on the fingers are substantial.  And this is in addition to the sweetness of the donut itself, which as it turns out can be slightly overwhelming.

C'mon... I'm not a softy when it comes to new, elaborate creations.  I'm all for trying this. It's an experience that you'll never replicate.  However, this is some CRAZY sh*t.   Like nothing ever tasted before. My Father-in-Law said it was the most disgusting thing he'd ever tasted (and he enjoyed the overall "Bell" experience), but I'm torn because I appreciate having this out there, but I fear for the people that get 12-packs and call that a "normal" situation.

If you don't have a loyalty to the Cap'n, or a desire to simply try something new, then wait.  Not a life changer, but a worthwhile experience FOR SURE.  I see the ingenuity, I appreciate the change of pace, but I can't imagine there's circumstance (outside of the random nostalgia that I'll crave after this post) where I'd seek out these delights on my way to The Bell.  These may run the risk of being too exclusive to a certain group to be profitable, but I'll EAT MY WORDS if I have to (cause they'd be delicious).... pun.

Enjoy.  Talk to you soon!

More Reasons to Ring the Bell - Pt.1

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you Taco Bell's limited edition:

After the 4th of July, I had the pleasure of sharing a Taco Bell experience with my Father In Law, who had NEVER rang the bell before!! Can you believe it?  I was so proud and excited to share his first experience and serve as a guide to the deliciousness that is the TB.

However, the MOMENT that we walked in I realized that there was potential for me to "bite off more than I could chew" (no pun intended... well, sort of I guess).  My excitement level skyrocketed when I remembered that there were some new menu items that I was going to be able to experience for the first time.  There were 2 prominent standouts that I wanted to share with you all, and that's why were rocking this Taco Bell visit as part of a 2 part series.

First came the limited edition Grilled Stuft Nacho.

You've probably seen the "Sharing Sucks" campaign that they rolled out for this.  Fat Mike has always believed that Taco Bell is as smart with their advertising as they are with their food creations. I was so pumped to try this because it touted all of the key elements that make for a GREAT Taco Bell creation: Seasoned beef, deliciously warm nacho cheese sauce, crunchy red tortilla strips, and a cool sour cream to finish.  The addition of the tortilla strips is crucial because it gives the whole thing a gloriously subtle crunch despite the very "Quesadilla-like" feel to the whole creation. 

Each bite was pleasantly refreshing.  It was well put together and held tight through the entire eat.  It wasn't one of those "explosive" things that require you to keep eating just so you don't dump the whole thing all over the place.  I really liked the beef, but it also comes in chicken and I'd be tempted to try that the next time around.  I will say, that the ground beef mixed really nicely with the other ingredients, and I worry that the chicken wouldn't absorb the surrounding elements as equally. Further investigation will need to be done.

Here's the hard truth:  Is it delicious? Yes.  Is it FANTASTICALLY convenient? YES!  Does it replicate the nacho eating experience in a compact and portable form as they tout in their ads? No.
As you can imagine, I'm a bit of a nacho enthusiast.  I don't say that to imply that I am the ultimate judge good nachos from bad, but rather to emphasize that I'm open to enjoying different nacho executions in different forms.  I like a pile of homemade tortilla chips with everything piled on top.  I like the "pub nacho" with round tortilla chips and artificial cheese sauce substitute rather than the fresh grated stuff.  I even like the new "gourmet" nacho where each chip is delicately laid on the plate and topped with well crafted, individual ingredients like refried beans and a fresh jalapeno.  This, however, is more of a "stripped down" nacho that just takes the key elements of making a plate of nachos and folding them all together.  Sure, it has a zesty bite with the sauces, beef and chips, but the only thing that rounded out the flavor to really equate a plate of nachos was the sour cream.  That clean, smooth element rounded out the Grilled Stuft rather nicely, but it didn't carry enough wait to say, "Hey, that tastes like nachos!".  Certain things like black/refriend beans, or pico de gallo, lettuce, or some kind of pepper needed to add some essence to really replicate the experience.

Nonetheless, this item is SCRUMPTIOUS and perfect for a "grab and go" Taco Bell stop.  If I were walking through the streets of NYC and happened past one of the randomly placed Taco Bell locations while on my way somewhere else, I would absolutely swing in and grab this for the walk. In fairness, it's not that bad for you and taking it as a walking snack might cancel out half the meal. At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

So worth it.

Who's Your Daddy?

It was an epic Father's Day in Fat Mike's world.  That's right, for those of you who are reading this and didn't already know... Fat Mike is a dad.  Rule #1 in the house, though, is the boy is not allowed to call Daddy "fat", and Daddy is NOT allowed to jokingly (and lovingly) call the boy "fat". Nevertheless, on certain occasions I AM allowed to let the boy tag along for a wondrous and enthusiastic food adventure.  In this case, we took a journey to try the new...

 PIZZA HUT HOT DOG CRUST PIZZA

This, my friends, did NOT disappoint.

We went ALL out.  I gotta tell ya.  I haven't been to a "brick and mortar" Pizza Hut since I went to celebrate a win in pee-wee soccer back in 1988.  However, the Pizza Hut in NJ that we used to go to was still standing and that's where "the boy" (I'm protecting his anonymity) and I went to enjoy in this delicious indulgence.

I wish I was able to take more pictures of the process, but anyone who's reading this who has kids knows that you only have so many hands when you're hanging out and I was only able to grab the "money shot" shown above.  I'll have to use the magic of the blogging keys to accurately describe how this went down.

This is a masterfully crafted pizza.  My primary worry was that the dogs were going to overshadow the pizza, or that the pizza was going to suffer in order to accommodate the dogs.  Neither was the case.  It was impressive how the dogs simply "popped" off the pizza if you wanted to separate the dogs and enjoy them on their own.  As an initial test run, the first thing I did was grab a dog (thinking that the tearing of the pig out of its designated blanked would mangle the slice that the dog was attached to and render the entire slice inedible).  Nothing could have been farther from the truth.  If the eater wishes to enjoy the pizza and the dog independently "The Hut" accommodates that wish.  What's even more impressive is that if you choose to eat the slice from "top to tails", the weight of the "swaddled piggies" doesn't overwhelm the slice and make for a frantic eating experience.  I would've expected the slice to fall apart in my hands, or start to droop since the crust carried such heavy weight, but that never happened.  The eating experience was pleasant from start to finish.  In fairness, it's a lofty expectation for anyone to go into this thinking that all of the hot dogs are going to be evenly cooked.  Admittedly, some were overdone, but I'd say there was a good 65/35 ratio of perfect dogs to overcooked dogs.  "The boy" and I were both impressed with how this entire event transpired, and it made for a FANTASTIC father-son experience.  There were smiles all around the table.  The boy is 2.5 yrs old and he took down his dinner like a champ.

*as a disclaimer, my son is NOT overweight and has a very balanced diet of fruits and vegetables on a regular basis.  I will NOT be lumped into that group of parents who has a satisfied child only when they are eating "kid friendly" foods.  I like to think that this experience was as enjoyable for him as it was for me because we have a balance of food we "need" to eat and food we "want" to eat.* 

Proof of happy faces

I HIGHLY recommend the Pizza Hut Hot Dog Crusted Pizza.  Pizza Hut is displaying the ingenuity and innovation that is crucial in diversifying the American food market and they're executing it with forethought and attention to quality.  I appreciated the experience they provided for me and my family, and I look forward to seeing what they decide to do next to make the pizza world a bigger and better place.

Thanks, Hut. (if you haven't already, please click above)

I'm such a JERK

Guess who's back??

So much has happened since the last post!  There's a lot to get out there, so I hope everyone's ready.  I'm going to try and capture it all in chronological order, but sometimes my excitement gets the best of me so the timeline might fly out the window.  First things first, however, we need to talk about Jerk chips.

As usual, I got beat to the punch on this one by other blogging chip enthusiasts out there on the Inter-Web, but I'm still going to share my view with you all.  You can't find these chips just anywhere, so I want to make sure that if you see these on a random shelf in a random bodega or grocery store you can say, "Oh... these are the chips that Fat Mike told me about!"

I present to you, Dr. Dread's Famous Kettle Cooked Jamaican Jerk Chips:

 These things are AMAZING.  Purchase online here.   I was given them as a gift Thankfully, I have great people in my life who appreciate and contribute to my enthusiasm for finding new and exciting flavors in snack food that's out there these days. #thanksamy.  To be honest, I didn't entirely know what to expect.  I'm a big fan of jerk flavor, and I didn't know if the chip would cut it.  How do you pack all of that big flavor and various spicing onto a chip?  Seems like a tall or, but the doctor is in and knows what he'd doing.  I was pretty impressed.  I couldn't put them down.  If I had to offer a criticism, a chip isn't necessarily the best vessel for all that spice, so there isn't consistency throughout, but there's a good smoke and nice bit of hot spice that accompanies each bite as you move through the bag.  I HIGHLY recommend a nice beer pairing with these.  However, I'll warn you that if you do you might just down the whole thing.  Even something as modest as the "King of Beers" compliments the spicy and unique flavor of these chips and makes for an enjoyable eating experience.

There is one side effect:

Do you remember those old Pringles commercials from the 80s and 90s?  They would emphasize that Pringles would spare you from the "greasy" leftovers of eating bagged chips.  Dr Dread puts those greasy chips to shame.  Even if you exercise surgical precision going into the bag to grab a specifically positioned chip to eat, you're gonna come out of there with SOME spice accompaniment on the fingers or hands.  It's unavoidable.

I'm a finger licker, myself. I love the cakey, orange leftovers from a good bag of Cheetos, and of course I cherish my Doritos dust (as all of the regular readers should know).  These, however, leave an excessive amount of cleanup.  My theory, is that it only makes committing to taking down the entire bag in one sitting that much easier.  After all, do you want to have a few, clean up, put them down, crave a couple more, have a few, and then clean up again?? Of course not.  Open, eat, rinse off... done.  Throw the bag in the garbage, smile to yourself, bathe in that feeling of accomplishment, and say, "Thanks Fat Mike. That was awesome".

Around the World Double Downs

The original KFC Double Down

 Bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and Colonel’s sauce sandwiched between two 100 percent white meat Original Recipe® filets. And of course, no bun.

I hope that everyone's familiar with this KFC sandwich classic.  The Double-Down has a complicated history marred by nay saying from people who disapprove of it's glutinous nature, and bolstered by staggering sales numbers. Motivating KFC to change the sandwich from a LTO to a permanent fixture on the menu.

Of course, Fat Mike is a huge fan of this sandwich.  However, it recently came to my attention that KFC is being stingy about the Double Down options that we have here in the U.S.  I couldn't believe it! Obviously, the initial controversy surrounding this epic sandwich makes it tough for KFC to up the ante every once in a while.  But I thought this was America? I thought we were entitled to the freedom to choose what odd mixture of food enters our mouths and stomachs?  Honestly, sometimes the Internet drives me crazy! People use this forum to create public outcry; directly affecting my ability to walk into a business and purchase something delicious and moderately bad for me. Nobody should ever say, "KFC is making the world fat".  Everyone has a choice about what they put in their face, and I resent the fact that the dumb people who choose to put too much crap in their face inhibit my ability to taste all the great changes being offered by fast food restaurants. #soapbox

Having said all that, I decided to take my chicken sandwich by the horns and manifest my own destiny.  Of course, you must be wondering, "Fat Mike, what on EARTH are you talking about?" Allow me to explain:

On Jan 26-27, KFC did a limited release of the Double Down Hot Dog.  A fried chicken “bun”proffering a chicken-and-cheese hot dog, covered in honey mustard and “relish dressing”.  Are you surprised that you didn't know about this? Don't be.  It was only release in the Philippines.  (read more about it here).  The limited release over 50 stores sold out immediately, and created a huge surge of awareness over social media. That's how it found its way to the Fat.

Once that door was open, I found out that the well of food opportunity at KFC went even deeper.  An article written in 2014 revealed that KFCs in South Korea have a menu item called the "Zinger Double Down King". While the old Double Down was two slabs of fried chicken, a few slices of bacon and some cheese in between, the "Zinger" has a MEAT PATTY in the middle.  There's even a "mystery sauce" on the bottom that looks like it could be a zesty pepper ranch sauce. Mmmmm...

I never let anyone control my destiny, and so when Super Bowl Sunday arrived I was determined to try all of these delicious sandwiches first hand.  I got a plan in place and I went to work.  Since I was creating for a larger group, I didn't attempt to directly recreate the sandwich in size.  I decided to go more of a "slider" route by halving the hot dogs and minimizing burger size.  Here's how it turned out:

First of all, if you've never made Ina Garten's Oven Fried Chicken recipe, then you should take that on first.  This is my "go to" for fried chicken every time, and I used it for prepping all my chicken for this glorious feast.

The original double down posed the easiest execution.  I used fried boneless chicken breasts for the buns, baked thick-cut Hormel bacon, and sliced Monterey Jack cheese.

This dish was a nice, simple favorite.  I might recommend making this as a simple finger food for a fun occasion because it's not super rich and is universally accepted by most party goers.  The original double down was never about dazzle, just an idea and execution.

Next was the Zinger King.  With a little assistance from my Sous Chef, Fil, the patties were crafted with ground chuck, S&P, garlic powder, finely diced shallots and parsely. Fried chicken breasts were used for the buns, and each sandwich had Hormel bacon, as well as a ranch sauce on the bottom.

This was definitely a stand-out for both my personal tastes, and the tastes of the guests.  The crispiness of the chicken, the salt of the bacon, and the juicy burger married perfectly together.  There was a hesitancy of each eater to dive right in because the overall structure seems very daunting, but the manageable size combined with the idea that this is simply a protein packed power punch made the concept much more favorable to all eaters.  Once they dove in there were smiles all around, and getting to try the Zinger turned into one of the highlights for my Super Bowl Sunday.

Finally, came the dog.

This was a lot more challenging because of the shape needed to execute the bun effect.  I used boneless chicken thighs in this case so that I could have a little more malleability in the dark meat. Additionally, I used 4in bamboo skewers to curve the chicken pieces when adding into the frying oil. Some worked better than others, but for the most part the hot dog was a great success.  In addition, I cooked up my own jalepeno cheddar cheese sauce (pictured above) to add on top.

This was also well received, but the hot dog yielded a lot more salt than the burger and made for a slightly overwhelming flavor blast in the face.  I executed the dogs in a simple "dirty water" style, and may (in the future) try grilling the dogs to add a bit of a smokey, charred flavor.  However, the tender consistency of the dark chicken meat, with the soft Bologna-like texture of the dog made the overall "sandwich" go down nice and smooth.  The cheddar sauce was a PERFECT addition and rounded out the meal nicely.  It really "tied the room together".  If I'm EVER in the Philippines, I'll swing by a KFC and truly decide how mine measured up. 

So, there you have it.  The "Around the World" Double-Down experience. It made for a Super Super Bowl and worked well for thumbing my nose at all those folks at KFC that try to keep the Fat from enjoying all the luscious food options out there.  Take THAT, Colonel.  You're a good and loyal friend, but you abandoned me and I had to fend for myself.  Hopefully, you'll make it up to me in the future with some new, stateside option that will blow my mind.

You down with CCOC? Yeah, you know me... sorta.

Somewhere between Halloween and Thanksgiving I got it in my head to attempt to make Candy Corn on the Cob.  Yes, that's right, Candy Corn ON the Cob.  I'd seen a couple of attempts on the Worldwide Inter-Web, which fueled my drive to accomplish this myself, but there were mixed reviews and even some who claimed this couldn't be done.  I'm here to tell you that it is NOT an easy task, but with a little bit of tenacity, some innovative thinking, and an outright refusal to accept defeat it can be achieved. Is it worth the effort? I'll let you decided (and throw in some personal commentary while I'm at it).

This was all spurred when I received and email that had a picture claiming that the cob center was made of banana.  In typical Fat Mike form I thought to myself, "Oh, so even though it's COVERED in candy corn, it's got a healthy center! Let's do it!"  Sometimes I find it necessary to justify these things to myself in order for these shenanigans to make more sense while doing them... I digress. 

I started doing some research and found that claims behind the banana center were wildly exaggerated.  Apparently, there was a VERY low success level due to the fragile nature of the banana. Typically, when attempting to make Candy Corn on the Cob, one uses rolled cookie dough as the cob which allows for the candy corn to sit firmly and comfortably.  This did not deter me from still attempting to get the banana to work, but after turning a few bananas into a gooey mush, I knew I had to think this through a bit further.

That's when it hit me! POW!  There's no need to abandon the banana in favor of the cookie dough... why not use both? That way, the nutritious center can be maintained and the candy corns can still be properly applied! I felt like a genius.  All I had to do was roll out the cookie dough and roll it around the banana.  This meant that Fat Mike's version of Candy Corn on the Cob would be a banana, wrapped in cookie dough and then lined with candy corns. Easy enough, right? WRONG!

The slick exterior of the banana made it almost impossible to keep the cookie dough wrapped around it. Even when I tried stuffing the banana into the cookie dough, the slippery suckers would just fall right out.  This would not do.  I had to think even FURTHER out of the box if I was going to pull this off.  That's when it dawned on me.  How do you eliminate the slick exterior of the banana? Coat it in chocolate! That way, the cookie dough could adhere to the chocolate surface as opposed to being directly applied to the banana.  I got all my ingredients ready, and we were read to go.  Just to be clear, this now meant that Fat Mike's version of Candy Corn on the Cob was now: a banana, coated in chocolate, wrapped in cookie dough, and then lined with candy corns.  Mmmm...

The bananas ranged in size, of course, but after the previous experience working with bananas I knew it might take a few attempts to get it just right.  Notice that the tips of the bananas were removed in order to create the illusion of a natural corn cob with the trimmed ends.

Next, I set up the double boiler and melted some chocolate.  The bananas were dipped in the melted chocolate, placed on parchment paper and then refrigerated for about 30 min to firm up.

Finally, it was cookie dough time.  I REALLY wish that I had been able to take video footage of the application while I was working with the dough and bananas, but alas these things that I do for myself do not typically draw a crowd of helpers. :-)  Needless to say, the process was messy and difficult.  When working with cookie dough, Fat Mike always recommends having a small bowl of water handy.  Similar to working with Matzoh or other binding ingredients, the water keeps the cookie dough from sticking to the chef's hands instead of their intended surface.  It doesn't keep your hands from being a huge mess, but before I started using the H20 I was basically wearing cookie dough gloves and eating most of the ingredient. Haha  When it was all said and done, I was ready to start applying the candy corns.

I feel obligated to point out that the reason why my cobs look like 3 lovely, squeezed out pieces of poo is because I used cookies and creme cookie dough rather than straight sugar cookie.  I wasn't going to buy chocolate chip because that would just add a crunchy texture and could possibly interfere with the candy corn placement.  Also, I suffered from growing pains learning the grocery store after my recent move (see previous posts) and the cookie dough seemed to be the only smooth option I could find. (I found soon after that I was looking in the wrong place for cookie dough and simply bought the "boutique" stuff that was being offered,,, if you weren't aware... I'm an idiot)  Now that my poo *ahem* I mean my corn cobs were ready, I started applying my candy corns.

This had to be done in stages because the cobs would start to soften slightly the more they were handled.  I had to apply a couple rows of candy corns, then place in the freezer for a few minutes, and then start again. All in all, the process took me roughly an hour and change from "soup to nuts", but the final result was pretty decent.

Obviously, it wasn't perfect, but I was able to get the cobs successfully made to a point where they were reasonable facsimiles of what I had seen posted elsewhere. The eating was a whole other process all together.  Because of the fragile nature of the product, I was forced to use a knife and fork to cut the cob in sections as I ate.  However, the rounds that resulted made for an EXCELLENT mix of banana, chocolate and sugar.  Make no mistake, candy corn is just straight sugar and it is more noticeable when you're eating it with cookie dough and chocolate.  Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself and was able to have a little bit of fun experimenting in the process.

Time for the commentary.  Would I ever do this again?  HELL no.  Why? First of all, I think I'm the only person on the planet who could and would eat this.  I don't see this being something that a lot of people have a sweet tooth for. In my experience, candy corn has a limited fan base, and this is a LOT of candy corn in one snack.  Additionally, the execution is lengthy and inconsistent.  Even if I were going to whip this up as a show piece or a novelty item the presentation isn't dazzling enough to be called impressive (as you can see above) for even someone more anal retentive than myself.  Regardless, it's a fun activity if you find yourself with a butt-ton of leftover candy corn from Halloween or whatever, and if you're brave enough to put the work in there is definitely a sense of accomplishment when it's all over.  Other than that, I can't say much more about this snack.  Side note: eat it early if you make it.  Fat Mike was up until almost 3am after getting this bad boy down. Sugar is a helluva thing. :-) 

A Three Flavored Sendoff

This is LOOONG overdue, but better late than never.  In my defense, it's been a bit busy these days and I haven't been setting aside enough time to keep updating about some of the new eats. You'll be happy to hear, however, that I think I'm getting back on track so keep checking in at Faturated Sats to find out what's on the menu these days. :-)

The big news these days is that I recently relocated back to my hometown, in my home STATE of NJ. That's right, folks, Fat Mike is now posting from the dirty jerz!  Before my move, however, I was given a gift from one of my buddies.  He was walking through his local supermarket and made an INCREDIBLE discovery that he was pleasant enough to share with the Fat.

Banana Creme, Strawberry, and Chocolate Creme Twinkies

Do not adjust your screen settings.  Those are REALLY 3 NEW FLAVORS of Twinkies that you're looking at.  I can't believe that it's taken this long, but it's finally happened!  I was overjoyed. Immediately, I knew what needed to be done.

(from left to right) Tradiitonal, Banana Creme, Chocolate, and Strawberry

In order to ensure balance in the tasting, a box of traditional Twinkies was purchased to round out the whole experience (hence the number above).  At that point, I was able to site down and do a thorough eat to see whether the new Hostess was able to pull off this magical, multi-flavored feet.

I'll tell ya, this was a delicious undertaking.  Anyone who knows the Fat knows that he LOVES Twinkies, and I was very happy with what the Apollo Global Management and C. Dean Metropoulous & Co. have done with the new Hostess.  After tasting all 3, the banana definitely stood ahead of the rest.  Obviously, personal taste factors into these things and I am admittedly a banana enthusiast.  However, others that joined in the fun agreed with my evaluation.  What can I say? Some people are chocolate people, and those folks picked accordingly.  I'm not gonna fault them for their loyalty. In the Fat's humble opinion, however, there should be NO question that the greatest success can be found in the banana.  The biggest loser was the strawberry, without at doubt.  It wasn't just that the flavor seemed too artificial (even for being piped into a yellow snack cake), but that there was an "off-pudding" textural issue that was apparent to me and other eaters.

Do you see those deeper reds in the picture?  Weird, and noticeable.  It served as a stark reminder that you are eating artificial, processed food that is not of this Earth.  That's not something that an eater needs while trying to gorge on something like a Twinkie. Each bite of a Twinkie is divine, and shouldn't be marred by reminders of what it takes to achieve that magic.  This was an unfortunate side-effect of imagination, but it certainly didn't take away from the experience as a whole because the only thing better than having a Twinkie, is having a multitude of Twinkie flavors to choose from.
But it didn't end there...

Banana Creme (on left), Chocolate Creme

And so, the two were combined to create "The Banana Chocolate Twinkie!!  Obviously, I didn't have the time or the inclination to open all the Twinkies to ensure that I found the ones with the most ample amount of creme filling.  However, I had enough confidence that the consistency of the process had stayed true after the company changed hands.  A perfect mix could only be achieved with proper knife skills, so I divided and CONQUERED! I was very happy with the end result.

Being able to actually see the blend of banana and chocolate was a point of pride.  Regardless, I swear this was an experience that I had been waiting for since childhood.  I imagine this is what Unicorn turds taste like.  It brought me back to my first Carvel soft serve experience when I bit the bullet and ordered the swirl ice cream, and then realized that things only got better when you mixed two good things together.

If you are a Twinkie enthusiast, like I am, then I highly recommend trying the new flavors.  If you're NOT, then I highly recommend trying the new flavors because the options are intriguing.  You're no longer constrained to craving a traditional vanilla Twinkie if the mood doesn't strike.  Grab a few new ones, mix, match, double down, gorge, and enjoy.  Well done, new Hostess.  Keep 'em coming.  Fat Mike's flavor suggestions include:  coconut, key lime, cheesecake, and cookies 'n' cream.  Mmmmm