The morning of the Friday after Thanksgiving I was spending some time at the gym. Traditionally, I don't keep my phone on me because my iPod serves its purpose and allows me to drift off to a tolerable place where the fact that I'm exercising doesn't infuriate me so much. I definitely require musical therapy in order to sustain what I would consider to be a "respectable" amount of time at the gym. Additionally, the background noise that my iPod provides allows me the privacy of my thoughts (even in a public exercise forum) to work through the menu of what I plan on eating after I finish my unnecessary routine.
On this day, I retrieved my phone from its temporary home in the gym cubby, and found a text message from my wife. It read, "Could you stop at the store quickly on your way home to pick up some basil, and a good vanilla ice cream?" For most people, this would be a seemingly innocuous question, but for me it immediately struck a chord as a hot-button issue. What did she mean "good" Vanilla ice cream? Good by my standards? Good by hers? I was PERFECTLY aware of her preference AND her awareness of my own. Nevertheless, I got tangled in thought over whether the expectation was for me to submit and bring the ice cream that SHE likes, or be passive aggressive and purposefully grab the vanilla ice cream that I prefer. Once I realized that it was inevitably going to be a lose/lose situation for me, I was flabbergasted by the idea that I'd have to make an "on the fly" decision of an untested brand in order to remain neutral. Why must I carry this enormous weight, and make a choice that could impact the entire evening not only for myself, but the family as well? The choice was clear. This had to be settled once and for all.
6 brands, and roughly $30 later, I arrived at home prepared with a decisive strategy in mind. I was staying with my in-laws over the holiday weekend, and they were eager to get involved and share in this adventure. The brands chosen are as follows:
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| Breyer's Natural Vanilla |
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| Turkey Hill Vanilla Bean |
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| Friendly's "Restaurant style" Vanilla |
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| Ben & Jerry's Vanilla |
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| The Dazs |
The 6th flavor was by a brand called "Adirondack" and that hit close to home because my in-laws spend summers up in that neck of NY. However, I wasn't savvy enough to grad a pic while I was up in NJ. So, you'll have to live without until I find my way back up there to see if I can grab one. Another surprising revelation that came from this was that Ben&Jerry's has a traditional Vanilla. I'm not saying that it doesn't make sense, but in a world of B&J where ingredients abound, and the next best ice cream is the one with 100 more flavors thrown in, I was surprised to find that in the middle of that cluttered diorama of gimmicks there was a glowing, white traditional Vanilla to be tasted.
I'll address the pressing issue that is most likely plaguing the minds of anyone who is reading this right now. Please keep in mind that I am KEENLY aware that there are brands that were not covered. However, I must offer this disclaimer that NOT every grocery store is the same and brands can vary by region. Additionally, I found it to be an essential criteria that these be traditional preparations of Vanilla ice cream, and not allow "finessing" of the process with "slow churn" or "super premium". That being said, I think we captured the overall market staples to execute a proper evaluation.
Finally, it was on. I made it very clear that in order to comfortably decide for my own household (my wife, myself, and our infant son) this had to be a blind taste test, and brutal honesty was a must. However, as I am a loving a dutiful husband the execution of the "family" taste test took place while I was bathing and preparing our son for bed that evening. Keep in mind, I was not blatantly left out because the expectation was that I would just play catch-up. But I was disappointed to learn that there was some awareness of what was being tasted by the eaters that may or may not have influenced their final decisions. Nevertheless, the tasting yielded surprising results... regardless of procedural mandates.
I asked my brother in law (and best, most trusted friend) to setup all my ice creams so that I wasn't any wiser about the brand. After taking my time running through the list, and then lightly sipping on the melted entrails, I knew my Breyer's right out of the gate. However, I was surprised to find that despite my knowledge of which was Breyer's it was not my favorite! After a quick inquiry I found that the ice cream I actually preferred was the Ben & Jerry's!! But why not? Those guys KNOW ice cream. They've never let me down. In fact, it made perfect sense. However, I view that as the $5 milkshake from Pulp Fiction (if you know the reference). It's good, but it's got a higher price tag on it. The group consensus leaned the same way as well. However, everyone who always loved Haagen Dazs... loved the Haagen Dazs. And everyone (like me) who loved the Breyer's... loved the Breyer's. There were no revelations except for the fact that when I'm now asked to stop and buy "GOOD" Vanilla ice cream, I'll call on my boys for Waterbury Vermont and say, "Thanks fellas, for making this so easy on the Fat".
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