2016 - Domestic News (pt. 2 of 2)

Welcome back to the 2016 wrap up...

Oh, you thought that I was just hopping around the food globe at the end of 2016? Nay... I took down my share of domestic treats as well.  The breadth of the journey may not be as substantial, but there were a couple of items that need to be noted.

Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts (or PPPT for short):

You gotta love the fall. Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin candy corns, pumpkin booze, and on and on and on. Rumor has it, this is even embraced overseas where Japan once offered The BK Pumpkin

Laughing Squid found these seasonal monstrosities from Burger King Japan, which include the “Pumpkin Bomb”: a burger topped with lettuce, bacon, creamy nut sauce, and ten slices of fried kabocha.

NO! I didn't eat that!! Fat Mike's never been to JAPAN except in Street Fighter (where he kicked some major ass).
I'm just trying to make a point that there's pumpkin all around us in the fall and it's easy to get caught up in the noise and miss something once in a while.




Send in the PUMPKIN PIE POP TART!!

What a fantastic way to wake up in the morning.  Yes, Pop Tarts are meant to be a morning pastry so that's how Kellog's intends for you to START your day.  After all, breakfast is (supposedly) the most important meal of the day, so why not ingest a 200cal toaster pastry. Wait... there are 2 of them?? Oh, ok then, a 400cal toaster pastry.  Excellent.

Nevertheless, this tasty treat goes PERFECTLY with morning coffee and isn't pretentious enough to claim to have "real pumpkin" hidden anywhere inside.  There's no claim of being "made from real pumpkin" or having "farm raised organic pumpkin ingredients".  This is simply an artificially flavored pumpkin bomb that explodes in your face with the sugary goodness of vanilla frosting and colored sprinkles as the perfect compliment to round out the meal. DELICIOUS.  Seasonally appropriate, easy to prepare, and enough to get anyone steered toward a successful day of... whatever.  This was an LTO folks, so I'm sorry that you can't run out and grab it now, but definitely keep it in mind when you're deciding to embrace the fall of 2017.  I don't endorse Pop Tarts as a regular go-to, but this is a GREAT way to "treat yo self".  However, as with ALL things you can find them on the iNterNet if you don't want to wait.

Stuffed Reese's PB Cups:












Spoiler alert: These are disappointing.  Since this is a 2016 wrap-up, I'm not gonna worry about build up, lead-in, or teasing.  When I started seeing commercials for the stuffed Reese's cups, I thought to myself, "It's about time! Wait, this was MY idea. Sh#t, it's about time!"  I ran out and grabbed me a pack of these obvious chocolate saucers of success. Unfortunately, my hopes were shattered by shock and disappointment. This rocked my world to the core in a sad way.

Look at the picture on the package:

Now, look at the thing:

C'mon.

I'm not going to get any deeper into this.  The pieces were non-existent.  There wasn't even a candy shell crunch to enjoy during the eat. The entire point of the pieces was to enhance the experience of the cup, but if the pieces aren't discernable from the rest of the cup, how can the experience of the cup be enhanced??? This made NO sense.  A complete failure in EVERY sense of the word. Demoralizing, depressing, and frustrating. I almost didn't eat my second cup out of disgust... almost. But I'd still purchase this over the Butterfinger cups.

Whole Grain Cheddar Cheese Goldfish:

Even looking at the words "whole grain" in the title above is making me a little uncomfortable. The fact remains that I stumbled across these appetizing treats by accident when shopping for "kid food" in the grocery store.  I'm a Pepperidge Farm enthusiast for sure.  You put a sack of ChessMen in front of me and I'm going to devour those things in a moment's notice.  The same goes for their bread, for their Milano cookies, and it should be noted that I had to ween myself off of those chocolate chunk varietals years ago.  They may have killed me.  I never would have thought that when they decided to tackle a whole grain version of the classic Goldfish that they could create a whole new perspective for me on "healthier" snacking.  But here's the great news... they're NOT healthier, they just taste better. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?!?!?!?

If given the choice, you should ABSOLUTELY get the whole grain Goldfish. Somehow, Pepperidge Farm stumbled on a deeper cheddar flavor and grainier cracker that makes the overall eating experience deeper and more pleasurable overall.  Trust me, the moment that I had a handful of these whole grains I immediately ran to grab a traditional version for a side-by-side comparisson (classic Fat Mike). I needed to make sure I wasn't taking crazy pills. After eating the two, I compared labels and found that although the calorie count was different, the overall snacking balance of ingredients are exactly the same. That is to say, salt, dietary fiber, sat fats, etc. balance out to equal each other.  The whole grains just, STRAIGHT UP, taste better. That's why it was worth Fat Mike sharing. This is not a "healthy alternative". It's just a better option. Eat it.

2016 Wrap up - World News (Pt. 1 of 2)

Happy 2017 everyone. So far, it's been a doozy, and you can rest assured that Faturated Sats will have some great stuff on the horizon, but there's some catching up to do first.

Before January passes by, Faturated Sats wants to wish all you loyal readers a HAPPY New Year and share big news both food related and in the world of The Fat.  I think we'd all agree that it's important to start the year (especially this one) with a clean plate, er, um... I mean slate, and so I'm gonna lay it all out there for you now.

In Fat Mike news, another kid showed up in October of 2016. YAY! He serves as the primary excuse for my absence and lack of posts to finish up 2016.  Aside from the New Edition (not a misspelling, click the link) Fat Mike also started a new job soon after, which I'm SUPER pumped about, and THEN The Fat got a lesson in how to survive the holidays with 2 kids. Whew...  But you know what they say, "excuses are like a$$holes, everybody's got one."  Just because I was crazy busy doesn't mean that I wasn't eating stuff!! Now that balance has been restored to the force, I'm back to sharing updates about new eats.

So before we get to heavy into 2017, let's breeze through a 2016 wrap up.  Unlike most posts, we'll cover a lot of ground and share little tidbits of some exciting food that entered Fat Mike's face.  This will be the first installment, with a second soon to follow.

Wasabi Kit Kats

That's not a misprint. As a very thoughtful and welcome gesture, these were given to me after a colleague returned from a trip to Japan.  I couldn't believe my eyes. Everyone around me cringed when they saw them, but Fat Mike wasn't concerned.  I love wasabi, and I love Kit Kats.  How could that go wrong?

Skeptics, be damned!! This little candy was surprising, satisfying, delicious, and (believe it, or not) addictive.

The wasabi is mixed into what tastes like white chocolate and creates a smooth, bright flavor.  Anyone who's had wasabi with their sushi knows that there's a kick to that special green paste, but the spice from the wasabi only lingers on the back of your palette after the chocolate and wafer have served their purpose and drifted away.  The subtlety of the wasabi is what makes the whole experience so magical. It's like putting a leash on a dragon and then walking it through a dog park. People would be like, "Is that natural? I've seen that before, but something's different."  The wasabi Kit Kat is a marvelous take on a classic snack and if you want to spend $18 on Amazon or eBay, you can bring this nifty little bite to your door.

In brightest day, in blackest night,

No snack shall escape my sight.
Let those who doubt this wafer's might, 

Beware the power, Green Kit Kat's light!!!

 — Hal Jordan  (I think may have said this once)

Okoge Rice Crackers

This hidden gem came from the same overseas snack pack as the Kit Kats.  Normally, a rice cracker wouldn't be worthy of garnishing the virtual pages of Faturated Sats, but this crispy vessel was totally badass. Unlike the bland, gummy rice cracker counterpart that is found here in 'Merika, this Muji cracker is crisp, hearty and touched with a bit of soy to create a luscious, salty, smokey flavor that's baked all the way in.  If you go to the Muji website the only description is, "Savoury rice crackers baked using unique method for natural flavour."  Nuff Said.

At first glance, I thought it was going to be a grainy cracker, so I decided to try it the day that I brought some homemade tuna salad for lunch. Being the innovator that I am, I brazenly broke off a piece and scooped it through my container of tuna.  When the mixture of the soy flavor hit my tongue I couldn't get enough.  This cracker was unexpected and wonderful.  It complimented the tuna perfectly and ended up rounding out what would've been an otherwise boring lunch.  BIG find.

Impressive. Most impressive.

      — Darth Vader 

To finish up, I turn the focus to the folks at Lay's who just keep upping their game.  In addition to the "Do Us A Flavor" contest in 2016, Lay's decided to roll out the "Passport to Flavor" where snackers could collect "miles" by eating limited edition chips to potentially win a trip to one of the exotic destinations that inspired the unique flavors.  I'm never one to chase after prizes, so I don't know the specifics, but it yielded some interesting eats to take advantage of. Admittedly, this could have stood alone as another chapter in Fat Mike's obsession with Lay's products, but in the midst of my child rearing and holiday madness I consumed one of the flavors without taking pics or retaining any thoughts. #eatforeatssake, #daddyfatsgottaeat In my defense, the overlooked flavor was wavy style and anyone who's into Fat Sats knows my feeling about that.  Excuses, excuses. Anyway, you'll have to do without. Since these are no longer in-market, I'll try to keep each rundown brief:

Brazilian Picanha

Was anybody reading when Fat Mike found out Wise was getting into the food truck flavor game?  These are like those. (click here to look back) Believe it or not, I think I liked the Wise chips better.  These were just boring, smoked and "been there done that".  I'm sure someone won a lovely trip to Brazil to taste what REAL Picanha tastes like, and I hope it wasn't this.  There was a little bit of spice, but it didn't really entice you to go back for more.  Sure, I ate the whole bag, but that's just because I can't NOT do that. Overall, not the greatest achievement Lay's has put out there.

Indian Tikka Masala

THESE, on the other hand, were AMAZING.  I really wish that I'd gotten to you guys about this one when it was on the shelves.  HOLY S#@t were these good.  I couldn't put them down.  Lay's captured flavor of a Tikka Masala perfectly.  The cumin, the black pepper, the garlic, and even a hint of clove somewhere in there, but it may have been that good that my taste buds were filling in the gaps.  Such a great achievement.  If I were a more dedicated snacker I would petition that this flavor is manufactured full time and on every grocery shelf year round. Amazing.  I think I consumed this bag in an afternoon.

Chinese Szechuan Chicken

This was a tough one.  I liked it, but there was not as resounding an enthusiasm as with the Masala counterpart.  My wife thought that the Chinese was disgusting and would have nothing to do with them, but it's not often we see eye-to-eye on snacking.  I just want to share a viewpoint from a more layman snacker.  This Szechuan chip had a tangy thing going on that took a little getting used to.  Not like the tang of a diesel Salt & Vinegar chip, but something that was muddied by the other, spicy ingredients.
That may be why it struck my eating partner as so undesirable?  There is such a thing as too many ingredients and I think this chip may have suffered from a lack of editing.  I couldn't really nail down what it was supposed to be and how it tasted like chicken or the typical Szechuan style of seasoning. I love the idea of this flavor, and if it were a matter of consuming that specific chip to win a trip to China, then I'd put the effort in. However, that would be the sole motivation.  Perhaps next time we're diving into asian flavors we could consider a General Tso, or even the simple, yet divine egg roll? Back to the drawing board Frito Lay team.  See you with some new suggestions for 2017.

ALL CAUGHT UP?? Not quite... stay tuned for part two!!

Explore all options

Now that November 8th has come and gone, if you're considering migration, Faturated Sats is going to share a couple of gems from our lovely neighbor to the north.

Canadian Lay's and Canadian Oreos

Ok. So Nabisco would most likely sue me for the title that I posted above regarding the cookies, but that's basically what they are (Canadian Maple Cream Cookies is too much of a mouthful).  Please don't sue me Nabisco... I'm worth nothing. 

I hope you can appreciate
how I got all artistic with
a chip pic resembling the
surface of the Moon.

First, we have the Montreal Smoked Meat Lay's potato chips.  This was the winner of the "Do Us A Flavor" competition in Quebec.  If you recall, the 2016 American counterpart was a Reuben sandwich so I thought there would be a striking similarity.  However, there was a unique flavor to this chip that outdid the American competition.  Where the Reuben came up short was the promise of mimicking the full sandwich experience.  In their simplicity, the Canadians NAILED it by simply calling out the smoked meat on its own.  This chip definitely embraces the slight pepper and deep smoke that you would look for in a chip that claims this flavor profile.  I was very happy that they didn't decide to take on too much or dig too deep with the flavor.  There was no worry about committing to the caraway flavor of rye bread, or tanginess of a russian dressing.  This chip was delicious and DEFINITELY allowed for eating large quantities in a single sitting.  Lay's can occasionally put out a rich flavor that bets you can't eat just one, and then caps the consumption out at about 20 chips. This is NOT one of those cases.  You could whip through this bag in no time.

Next, we have the maple leaf cookie. I didn't expect much from this.  The components are pretty simple and unoriginal to say the least.  However, what I was very impressed by was the willingness of the cookie maker to create a big cookie, with big ingredients, and not shy away from over delivering in order to have a more enjoyable eat.

The cookie is your typical white, sugar cookie with a hint of maple syrup.  Not too overwhelming, but just enough to make sure you pick up on that fragrant sweetness.  You know it's there, but it's not cloyingly sweet.  Especially, once you consider the fact that this is a cream filled cookie as well.  Keeping in mind, that when I say "cream filled cookie", I really mean cream FILLED cookie.  Just LOOK at this:

For those of you out there who haven't explored the market as I have, that is a substantial amount of filling.  The best part is, the vanilla filling is silky, soft and tasty.  Other cookies that offer this abundance of filling do so because they are a "no frills" knockoff that needs to overcompensate with dry, sugary, unappetizing filler.  What I learned from this cookie is that the Canadians don't skimp.  As you could see, this thing is LOADED with vanilla goodness.  The application onto the cookie allows for clean separation, but the consistency is velvety and runs smoothly along the tongue when a solid lick is applied.  This cookie provides a solid eating experience all the way through, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was able to cruise through about half the package in one sitting.  Instead of just being a simple throw away, with a "tip of the cap" to the Canadians, this quickly was reminiscent of my yearly GSC (girl scout cookie) gorge.  A very successful cookie.

So, just remember as you reflect on the events of that past week, or are constantly thinking of hard choices awaiting the unknown future, just know that there are options out there. Just saying.

Barbacoa Constrictor

Get Wise!

That one-eyed owl has always been lurking in the shelves of the snack isle since as long as I can remember.

Is he winking at me? Does he know a secret that I don't? Is he watching me to make sure I make the right snacking decisions? Is he judging me? Is his eye piercing my very soul to entice me to try his flavorful fantasy world? Yes... yes he is. Mr. Owl? How many licks does it take to get to the Toosie Roll center of a Toosie Pop? Sorry... wrong guy.

Anyway...  I digress.

Guess what? The owl's still got it.  Wise decided to step out of the nocturnal shadows and share a new idea with the market.  I can only hope this is a reaction to the new market forcing new flavors and innovative approaches to snacking.  Wise got wise and decided to compete, and you know what? It's a valiant effort.

The Wise Beef Barbacoa Tacos flavored chips are really a refreshing choice from an otherwise "traditional" chip producer.  For YEARS, Wise has provided stable snacking with their traditional potato chip, cheese doodles (the originals, make no mistake) and BBQ varietals.  However, this is the most unique flavor profile that I've seen Wise take on since the Honey BBQ escapade which is no longer on the market.

Look at the pic on the bag! They did their homework. Granted, they're not pioneers in taking on "food truck flavors", but they picked a strong and unique one. Addtionally, after extensive searcing this bag is only available in "snack" size and no larger. Not a plus, but that's only because they're good enough to enjoy a full sized bag. There are zesty spices and great seasonings to assist in replicating the proper flavor profile.  Smoked paprika is noticeable in each bite, but there is a great overall blend that assists in feeling like you're taking down a nice southwestern taco.

As usual, Wise doesn't overdress their wares.  This is a simple chip as most wise are.  There's something to be said for not needing to kettle cook the chip in order to impart a stronger flavor, or more pleasurable eating experience.  Wise always just sits on the sidelines and waits to step into the game at the exact right moment to have an impact and take the eater by surprise.  Anyone out there ever seen the 80s classic "Lucas"?  It's a Corey Haim classic.  This chip is like that.  It runs out onto the field and gives it EVERYTHING it's got.  It gets CLOBBERED by the more athletic, more capable chips out there, but you applaud them for the effort considering the daunting task that they decided to take on with wild abandon.  I was happy to stumble across this and thought I'd share with you fine folks to remind you to take a chance on the little guy every once in a while. Stay Wise.

I've got a case of the SPLITS!

'Twas "Janet Jackson night" while vacationing at the end of summer, and these little surprises crossed my path.

"Splits" Pretzels

Have you ever had these?  I don't know if they're new, exclusive to certain areas, or just a figment of my imagination, but DAMN...

If a thin pretzel and a sourdough pretzel had a baby, it would be this delicious treat. For the record, I'm not a huge pretzel enthusiast.  To be perfectly honest, I've always found pretzels to be a manipulative snack used to induce drinking.  I guess I'm a bit jaded from snacking on pretzels over a decade of bartending.  Nevertheless, it's rare that something as simple as a pretzel can knock Fat Mike on his a$$.  Let me get to the point...  The Fat is endorsing this snack SUPER hard.

Like I said, I was enjoying a collection of Janet Jackson (just for the heck of it) while sitting by a fire pit with one of my absolute best friends near the end of the summer when we raided the cabinet and found this diamond in the salted rough.  We were occupying a rented house and I'm not sure if we were poaching their food, but we busted these out for some quick sustenance and I'll be DAMNED if this didn't legitimately put me in a state of shock.  As you can see from the pics, this is a hearty and delicious pretzel.

At first sight, it seemed like nothing, but it snuck up on me.  After the first few, I thought to myself, "what is this?"  I couldn't put my finger on what made this unique.  After all, it was only a pretzel. But soon I realized, that it was a pretzel with "body" that lacked the aggressive chewing requirement typically associated with larger pretzels.  In addition, there was also a cooked flavor that made sure it could never be mistaken for anything traditional.  It was almost like a "smoke", like a burnt flavor throughout the whole bag that reminded me of a cracker that had previously attempted the "toasted" application without achieving as much success. Each bite kept calling me back for more.  But it wasn't because I was hungry... they just kept calling.  Like a phone solicitor in the 1980s, or a crazy ex-girlfriend on your birthday.  They were just THAT good.  Wherever "Splits" came from, these snack pioneers hit the nail right on the head.

If you have the opportunity, seek these out.  They aren't large bags, but they don't need to be.  So good. So choice.  Kudos to the creators.  Appropriately, these bite-sized pieces of gold are manufactured by Unique, who have been in the biz since 1921. Check out their description of how they make Splits on their website:

During our "Unique" process, we let the raw pretzel set to perfection. When ready, the pretzel is placed in the oven where it bursts open and bubbles up creating crispy hollow pockets and crunchy deep crevices that are full of flavor. Because of our all natural baking process, every pretzel raises differently making each "Split" Unique. "Splits" are not just another pretzel shaped cracker, they pack a serious crunch and are tantalizing to the palate of any pretzel lover.

Badass.




There appears to be a wide array of options, and I plan on seeing what this purveyor has to offer the snack world. Fat Mike is gonna stalk these folks out like George McFly: 

If you haven't been exposed, I recommend SEEKING THIS ONE OUT!!  Fat Mike commands it.

Throwback Thursday Snacking?

This one goes out to all the long-term snackies out there... Who remembers these?

Proving yet again that the Internet is an exciting and wild place, these were ordered from Amazon by a colleague that I work with.  I was so impressed, that I thought I'd give a shout on Faturated Sats for the effort and nostalgia.

Dunkaroos are a snack initially released in the early 90s.  Take a look at the quick history here if needed.  Some genius somewhere thought up the idea of dipping cookies into cake frosting as a snack and changed my life forever.  For some reason, this didn't live in the market for very long.  The snack was never officially discontinued, but production was simply scaled back and it became virtually impossible to procure these little packets anywhere. Now that the Internet exists, if you can get past the idea of eating a technically discontinued food that is mailed to your house instead of sold by retailers, then you can enjoy this magical treat anytime.

Let me give you an idea of how deep this runs for the Fat.  After "College Round 3" at the age of 25 when I decided to be an overachiever and earn a 4.0 GPA while chasing my college degree, I worked towards a single, celebratory snack.  For months, I was driven by the idea of getting through my final semester to purchase two ingredients: 1) a package of Oreo cookies and 2) a 16oz container of Betty Crocker "Rich & Creamy" vanilla cake frosting. Thereby, replicating the Dunkaroos experience with my own specialty cookie/frosting combo.  I lounged in front of the TV and plowed through my homemade Dunkaroos with a euphoric vigor after accomplishing my academic goals.  It was SO worth it.  I truly had achieved greatness.

Needless to say, it was a happy surprise to find the real deal in the office years later, and I was very impressed by the number of people who not only knew what Dunkaroos were, but celebrated them. Moreover, I was happy to observe those who were NOT previously aware of this heavenly snack experiencing the joy of dunking sugar cookies in sugar frosting. That zany, Aussie kangaroo mascot is trying to save us all.  Just let him.

Thanks again, Internet... and Vince.

The Cluck Stops Here

Happy 4th of July?  Wait... what day is it?  Is summer really almost over? Holy @#$*!

Sorry for the hiatus, but the Fat's been pretty busy these days. I started writing this post during the July holiday weekend to get you all caught up on some epic eating experiences and it's been until now that I actually had the time to sit and get it done.
There's so much, I'm not sure where to begin...  I know, I'll start at the beginning.

Previously, I've mentioned that working in NYC has its benefits when you're a food enthusiast. Sure, most of the time the title of "foodie" is only applied to folks who seek out modern, unique fusion foods or follow around fancy James Beard award winners.  I believe that the term can still apply to folks like myself who want to explore where to find the best executions of food. This time, my mission was to explore the players in the chicken sandwich game.  So I went out for a 20min walk one day in NYC and collected sandwiches from what I believe to be the top 5 contenders to sit down for an eat.  All at once... for lunch...by myself.

The conversation began when I confessed to some colleagues that I'd never had a chicken sandwich from Shake Shack. For those who are unfamiliar, this is a chain restaurant that was established in NYC in the year 2000.  I won't share the full background, but you can click here to learn more.  It wasn't that this was the most celebrated chicken sandwich universally, but people will argue that Shake Shake is a fantastic contributor to the fast food game, so it got the chicken sandwich crave started.

To make matters worse, Chick-Fil-A had just opened it's first NYC eatery in 2015 mere blocks away from my office.  I'm not an enthusiast, and one could say that I'm "anti-Chick-Fil-A", but that's mainly because I don't like to eat food that's cooked in sadness (reference). Since I normally steered clear(click) of walking into this franchise, this decision to try the strong contenders provided a platform for biting the bullet and seeing if all the Chick-Fil-A fans out there were really justified in their loyalty.

The players:  Burger King, Wendy's, McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A, and Shake Shack.

Let's see who got it done. In order to keep this simple, I'll organize from WORST to BEST. That's right, you'll have to read (or scroll) to find out.

#5 - The Burger King crispy chicken sandwich

Having followed The King's career in the chicken game quite closely over the years, I thought they'd have had a better showing. The King's court has been making some bad choices these days and this chicken sandwich is representative of that.

I went with the Tendercrisp Chicken sandwich thinking that historically their chicken tenders stood out from the crowd. I thought this would be a smart play if they were incorporating the same techniques.  Unfortunately, this was NOT the case.

Blandy, bland, bland.  I have no idea how they pulled it off, but this chicken was so nondescript and soft that it actually felt more like eating a fish filet than a chicken sandwich. I know that makes it sound gross... cause it was.  The brioche bun, while classy, just added another spongy element to a chicken sandwich that needed some more crispiness and taste.  Where were the herbs and spices? C'mon, King.  I expected better from a proprietor with such royal character.  Perhaps the "original chicken" is the only way to go? But that's for another visit.  This one was a miss.




#4 should come as no surprise - McDonald's Buttermilk Crispy chicken sandwich

If you're already familiar with the "Ultimate McDonald's Breakfast" post from late 2015, then you know this isn't my first dive into the Buttermilk Crispy chicken sandwich.  As chicken sandwiches go, McDonald's goes the extra mile to ensure that they offer a crispy style sandwich for the folks who really care.  Just like the King, however, McDonald's has an "original" to fall back on if you want a lower price point, but that's a "value menu" item that doesn't provide the bells and whistles needed for a solid sandwich.  If you've got the extra $3, go with the buttermilk chicken.

This sandwich is tolerable if you are a McDonald's loyalist. Let's say you're driving down an endless highway, and you stop a rest area for sustenance, and the only choices are BK or Mickey D's, and you're CRAVING ONLY a chicken sandwich... then this will save your life.  However, if you're standing in the middle of some fast food mecca with a myriad of food options around you, I suggest crossing the street and heading elsewhere.  This sandwich is nothing to write home about.  It's not as bland as the BK chick, but it's just as boring.  The chicken sandwich market is booming with places that craft quality bites of homestyle chicken and this doesn't hit the mark.  The chicken is sorta crispy, but they suffer the same buttery "brioche sponge" problem of their royal predecessor.  I'm unsure why brioche is the go-to bread these days, but it's not adding any value to these sandwiches. Sorry, Ronald, but it's back to the drawing board if you want to create a fried chicken sandwich that's going to be able to hang with the big boys (or girls...that's for you Wendy).

#3 - Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich

I never thought that this would make it to third on the list.  Ironically enough, it came down to faith.  I had FAITH in the competitors out there and I was disappointed by an unfocused tyrannical leader and his idiot, clown cousin.  The unfortunate truth is that there's something Chick-Fil-A does to their chicken that is flavorful and delicious.  There is a magical combination of herbs and spices that they've thrown together to create a perfect breading and perfect balance of spice with natural chicken flavor.

But before we get carried away, let's discuss the sandwich as a whole.  I don't care how many hundreds of herbs and spices dress the bird, or whether there's a magical team of angels straight from heaven working the line in the kitchen, there's no excuse for having a $4+ sandwich that consists only of cooked chicken, bread, and pickles. That's ridiculous.  I'm not suggesting that every sandwich has to be douched in mayonnaise, but a little bit of crisp lettuce, tomato, or a unique special sauce isn't too much to ask.  This is a delicious execution, but lacking in "bang for the buck".  If Chick-Fil-A thinks that they can win me over with a little bit of fancy spicing and cooking technique they are sorely mistaken.  It'll take more than that to get me to walk through those doors of judgment. Please note: a donation of the $5 that was spent at Chick-Fil-A was made to The Point Foundation National LGBTQ Scholarship Fund. Click here to donate now!

#2 - Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich

I know what you're going to say, "HEY! How come Wendy's get's the Spicy Chicken Sandwich?" The answer if plain and simple: I love Wendy, and she loves me, and I'll do whatever she tells me to do. As readers, you'll simply need to have faith in the fact that I know what Wendy's has to offer, and while the Wendy's Homestyle chicken is a strong sandwich, the Spicy Chicken sandwich is one of the best out there.  I'm using this opportunity to assure you folks that if given the choice between the preceding options listed above, and you're on the fence about giving money to Chick-Fil-A, this is a SOLID choice.

It may not look like much, but this chicken sammie has some good bang for the buck.  They don't skimp on the condiments, and Wendy knows how to make some kickin' chicken.  It's not "melt your face" spicy, but just enough to make you want to keep tasting it with another bite.  That smiling redhead does it again with a delightful dining experience and grabs the #2 spot.

#1 - Shake Shack's Chick'n Shack

That's right... not even the alluring eyes of Wendy could get me to deny that the Chick'n Shake is one of the absolute BEST chicken sandwiches out there right now.  I mean, C'MON, just look at this thing:

The sandwich has a slightly higher price tag a $6+, but it is SO worth it.  The thing is served in a box. The kind that you are given when you're carrying multiple food items at a sporting event.  All for just one sandwich.  The chicken is cooked in a manner that makes you believe your grandmother is making it in the Shake Shack kitchen from scratch.  The breading peels off like the chicken is donating it to you willingly.  This sandwich lacks the LTO (lettuce, tomato, onion) used by some of the competitors, but there's shredded lettuce and a ZESTY buttermilk ranch dressing to substitute. The dressing adds a needed zip of flavor to the eat and is unique from any of the other sandwiches in the market.  This sandwich is a beast to get through.  Especially, after you've just eaten 4 other sandwiches already, but there was NOTHING that could stop me from taking down what ended up being the uncontested victor in the chicken sandwich tasting.

It's worth pointing out that bonus points were thrown to the Shake Shack sandwich makers when I realized that the bun was only partially cut on purpose.  This sandwich is served on a potato roll that is left bound in the back to prevent slippage.  That's right.  When held properly, the makers assured that you lose no sauce, patty, or lettuce out of the backside when wrapping your mouth around this epic, fried chicken mammoth.

Shake Shack, you truly give thought and care to the food that you are supplying to the masses, and you've made a true fan out of this guy.  Fat Mike was EXTREMELY impressed by this showing, and did NOT expect there to be such a knock-out victory.





You left all other chicken sandwiches in your wake.
You turned a Mac attack into a Shack attack.
You knocked the King off his thrown and stole his crown.
You kicked those cows in the udder and said "you're welcome"
You swung that little redhead over your head by her ponytails.
Well played.  I totally smell what the Shack is cookin',