Storming The Castle

"The crave is a powerful thing"

That is absolutely true, and "the crave" punches Fat Mike in the face about 4 times a year.  This time, it led to the meal pictured below:

This meal was fueled by the excuse that people I worked with had NEVER eaten White Castle before. I seized the opportunity to hit the castle, and hit it HARD.

After quickly perusing the White Castle website, and downloading the White Castle APP (which is VERY worth it, by the way) I realized that I'd been overlooking the castle as more than just a stronghold for my sack... of burgers (you sick people).  Until this point, I had only journeyed to the Castle to grab a 10 (or 20) pack of burgers to feed my slider monkey, but there is a WORLD of other options that most may not have known about.  No worries... allow me to educate you.

To keep this simple, I'm going to review all of the sandwiches that I consumed during my 15min visit from WORST to best. You'll have to read (or scroll) to see which one came out on top.

The Jalapeno Chesse Slider - I went into this one thinking that it would be a solid grab because it embraces everything about the original White Castle slider with a smooth cheese and some spice. I couldn't have been more disappointed. Not only was the flavor bland, but the spice was virtually non-existent.  If there were jalapenos in the burger, I didn't taste 'em.  If it was supposed to have spicy cheese, it didn't.  I'm SO glad that I didn't open with this one or save it for last.  Ugh. Do not recommend. A waste of money and a waste of more useful eating space.


The Bacon Cheddar Grilled Chicken Slider- PLEASE image search this sandwich on the InterWeb and compare it to the sandwich I have pictured to the left.  I understand that White Castle can't necessarily be held accountable for consistency when cranking out low quality food by the dozen, but c'mon.  Not only was the chicken patty lackluster in size and flavor, but aside from the abundance of bacon (which I appreciated) there was almost no cheese whatsoever.  This just proved to me that White Castle isn't necessarily putting the effort into the "chicken" side of their menu even though they tout it on their website.  I guess the chicken battle going on in fast food these days doesn't worry the knights of the white castle.  Step up your chicken game, fellas.

The Classic - Yes, the other two were bad enough that I included the classic slider to emphasize that they are not good enough to forego the classic in any circumstance.  Besides, how could I overlook a slider that I could EASILY eat 20 of at any given moment?  It makes the list as a steady, and consistent "go to".

The Turkey Dinner Slider - Yes, I spent $20 at White Castle during the Thanksgiving holiday season.  Was I surprised to find that White Castle had crafted a specialty slider embracing traditional Thanksgiving flavors? Absolutely.  Did I have any choice about whether to try it? No, I didn't.
As MC Phife Dawg would say: "You get an E for effort, and a T for nice try" White Castle. This wasn't a bad eat by any means.  The sandwich consisted of a turkey burger topped with a sweet potato waffle fry, and a cranberry sauce spread on the traditional slider bun. I'm a big fan of the turkey burger and was happy to see that White Castle was offering this alternative.  However, there was no way to stop the turkey from tasting dried out and the cranberry sauce was too sweet for its own good.  Had they decided to use a cranberry jelly (like the canned stuff) that might have worked better.  But putting the more "fresh" cranberry lipstick on this pig just overwhelmed the sandwich a bit with sweetness.  Nevertheless, the flavors worked well together and played to the Thanksgiving theme they were looking for. Impressive work, White Castle. Very not bad.

Bacon Egg Breakfast Waffle Slider - White Castle does what???

That's right, breakfast folks.  Not only that, it's available ALL DAY.  Not only that, it's not a limited menu!! Take THAT punch to your clown balls Ronald McDonald!  Unfortunately, The Fat didn't have the capacity to take down the whole breakfast AND lunch menu in the same sitting, but I decided that the Waffle Slider would provide a good foundation for seeing what the White Castle breakfast had to offer.
This was GOOD stuff.  If inclined, I would CERTAINLY walk into the Castle and order up a 10pack of these to bring to a tailgate, or enjoy as a comfy weekend breakfast.  The waffle stayed reasonably crispy, but I can't imagine that would withstand any resting time past 10min or so. However, with a little bit of ketchup and Shiracha this sandwich could provide the perfect recovery for a weekend warrior on the mend after a mean bender.  The fried egg, bacon slices, cheese, and waffle make for a perfectly executed breakfast sandwich.  In addition, it makes for a good tiny-bite breakfast for those who don't want to get overwhelmed with a bulky sandwich.  Keep an eye out for an updated post, should I decide to tackle the White Castle breakfast menu. This was a solid motivator. TBD

The Veggie Slider - This was the dark horse of the group.  I didn't expect much. To be honest, when initially ordering I thought the Veggie burger would be ranked where the Jalapeno currently sits, but this was GOOD!! First positive, it's only $0.99!  That's right! Second positive, it's ACTUALLY a veggie burger.  Need proof? White Castle was issued Peta's "Kind Fast Food" award for this slider. Hahaha.
"It’s made with actual peas, carrots, zucchini, spinach, and broccoli" - PETA
The icing on the cake is that the sandwich comes with a CHOICE of sauces for topping: Ranch or Thai Chili. I went with the ranch sauce because I simply didn't know what to expect, but after consumption I would have definitely tried the thai sauce just to see the difference.  I couldn't have been more impressed with how soft, tasty, and surprisingly fresh this slider was. Come to think of it, I never would've expected White Castle to even acknowledge this demographic of slider considering their reputation and history in the fast food world.  If you submit to the crave as often as I do, go in and give this one a try.  Man up, and add it to your sack.

Finally, The Winner Is...

White Castle's Surf & Turf Slider!!!

I know what you're thinking, "Either Steve Harvey is gonna chime in and announce a different winner, or Fat Mike's lost his mind".  At first, I thought I might be going crazy, too.  In fairness, this was the last sandwich I took down, but that could have only added to the very clear fact that this sandwich is a fantastic accent to the White Castle menu and truly shows that the knights of the castle are on duty and ready to serve.  What makes it even better is that it's an item that's listed on the "secret menu" for most White Castle franchises. (see here)  This has cheese on the bottom AND top of the slider, with chopped white onion, a golden fried fish patty, and double stack of slider meat.  Coming in at a wallet busting $3.99 it is by far the most expensive item within the castle walls, but it is worth EVERY penny.  I wouldn't go breaking the bank with a 20pack order anytime, but grabbing a few while on the go would make for a good time.  The blend of the flavors was perfect, and as your mouth chomps through the bread, makes it's way into the crispy fish, and then mixes that all together with that mushy burger... it just don't get any better.  This slider is a GAME changer, and a MUST TRY on the Fat's recommendation list.  Got a craving? RUN to your nearest castle, grab a sack, and throw this in there for good measure.  Your mouth and tummy with thank you (and me) when it's all over.  HERE, HERE to the Castle! Long may the crave forever feed the dark knight that sleeps within me.